Lazer Beams

Dovid Slays the Goliath of Depression

Usually, when I publish reader's letters to me, I change their names and identifying information in order to preseve their privacy. Dovid Smith, who wrote the letter below, said, "I feel like yelling on the rooftops - I want the whole world to know what Rav Arush's and Rav Brody's emuna CDs did for me!" So, instead of Dovid from Portland becoming Danny from the East Coast, he'll stay Dovid from Portland.

Dovid's letter is also a shining tribute to the wonderful Portland Orthodox community, many of whom are Beams readers. His experience shows how a kehilla can literally save lives. Hopefully, other communities will follow in Portland's footsteps, and open their hearts and homes in outreach.

Dovid himself is a kiddush Hashem, showing how with emuna, a person can beat the battle with depression, analysts and pills. Let's hear it straight from Dovid

Dear Rabbi Brody,

This is Dovid from Phoenix, I've written to you before. Well, so much has happened in my life I wanted to give you an update! I've moved to Portland, Oregon to begin school - and while school plans are being sorted out by Hashem so many other wonderful things are happening.  I work for a sister company of the one I did in Phoenix (where I asked you about my beard and how to handle their insistance I shave it off - and ended up fired, Baruch Hashem) -  my having a beard here is no problem at all! 

I live in the heart of the orthodox community here, I've found a shul I really feel like I can belong and participate in and I've just been given so much by Hashem.  I listen to your CDs every day at work in the morning - it's so nice to have that time with just you, me, Hashem and the bakery oven to spend together learning and growing in Emuna. Other people are listening to the CDs with me now, asking questions about emuna and how I'm so happy working what seems to be a "dead end job" - but it's not a dead end job at all, it's exactly where I should be until Hashem takes me to the next place.

I have met so many people here, I've been so blessed.  I felt so alone in Phoenix and left out of the community - but I didn't know how to be part of a community. Here I have a shul, I have friends, I have opportunities to do SO many mitzvahs - I had a great time just last week delivering shalach manos with another guy all over the area and I realised how special a community it is when I had so many to give for my friends - and so many friends to give to. 

Hashem has blessed me so much with parnossah (income - LB), I have exactly what I need all the time.  (Which reminds me to look through your catalog and see what Rav Arush-Brody CDs I need to add to my collection when I get paid tomorrow bli neder). I always used to worry about money - there was never enough, I was always behind on my bills - but now I think the repeated listenings have started to sink in and I don't worry anymore. 

I have been able to find so many beautiful places here to walk and practice hisbodedut, the scenery and peace is just incredible. In Phoenix it was always too hot, or I was too tired or whatever, but here everything is different because I'm different.

There were so many challenges it seemed - I was being evicted because I couldn't find a job in Phoenix, I was registered for school but had no money to pay, I came to Portland with nothing but my seforim (religious books), tefillin, a few kosher dishes and some clothing - and your CDs.   I found a job, I found a kosher living situation - I found my life. My schooling is falling into place, I have wonderful friends, I have everything I need because I kept listening and followed Rabbi Nachman's advice.  Even when I wasn't sure, even when I didn't know what I was doing I just put on a smile, said "Gamzu l'tova!" and kept going, and Baruch Hashem it's all going so well.

I have been free of antidepressants for about 5 or 6 months now, I eat better, I feel better, I LIVE better, all thanks to Hashem.  Everyone needs to know that they just have to keep going and keep davening for emuna - as it says "He opens his hand and provides for every living thing."   My thoughts of suicide have disappeared, my attitude is 180 from where it was in the past - even my... other challenges are past.  No drugs, no therapy, just emuna, encouragement from your CDs and Rav Sholom Aruch's teachings and holding on tight to the Torah and Hashem.

I look forward to adding to my collection soon and learning more about Breslov.

Dovid Smith

* * * * * *

Earlier today, "Candy Stein" came home from her analyst with a bottle of antidepressants in her handbag. She has been going through the ringer lately. She wrote me an email saying that she listened to "Hashem Loves Me" and "Why are You Sad", then went to Lake Michigan for an hour-long stroll to talk to Hashem, and she then through the bottle of pills in Lake Michigan. Someone must warn the fish!

Obama and Aliya

Not only does Hashem do everything for the very best, but Hashem has a fantastic sense of humor.

For example, Haman did more to advance the Teshuva movement among the Jewish people worldwide than any rabbi ever did. Every day in purgatory, Haman is showed how he brought so many Jews closer to Hashem - this for him is the supreme torture.

Hashem continues to laugh. Since Aliya from America is the lowest it has been in years, Hashem has made a presidential candidate out of a slick-tongued freshman senator with no experience that rubs shoulders with a bunch of major-league Jewhaters like General Tony McPeak and Preacher Jeremiah Wright. Obie and his cronies are doing more to encourage Aliya than the Jewish Agency and the Israeli Absorption Ministry combined.

It doesn't matter who you vote for. All the politicians are funny little puppets with Hashem pulling the strings.

Shepherd's Purse

An American tourist once asked a Jerusalem rabbi how religious Israelis succeed in having such large families? The rabbi answered, "It's because Shepherd's Purse grows wild by the roadside all over the Land of Israel."

Lately, I've had numerous letters from women that complain of lengthy menstrual cycles that leave them few days of purity and reduce their chances of pregnancy.

Rebbe Nachman says there's no such thing as despair. Save your money, don't run to the gynecologist, and don't fill yourself with pills. There's an easier, more natural way to become clean on the 5th day, so with hefsek tahara and 7 clean days, the unpure period is reduced to 12 days. With ritual immesion in the mikva after sundown of the 12th day, a woman's chances for pregnancy are highest, since for many women, ovulation is on the 13th day of the cycle.

Here's all you need to do (I learned this remedy from the great Rabbi Yisroel Yaacov Fisher ob"m of the Eda Haredis in Jerusalem): Gather 5 or 6 young green leaves from a shepherd's purse plant that grows all over the place here, at roadsides and on empty lots. If you live outside of Israel, ask your local herb specialist for the leaves. Wash them off in cold water and make sure they have no bugs in them. Then, boil them in a small tea kettle with water, letting the herb tea brew for about 5 minutes. It may be a bit bitter, so sweeten the tea with a teaspoon of honey. Drink a glass of this tea on the mornings of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th day of the menstrual period. Before sundown of the 5th day, you'll hopefully be clean as a whistle, so you can begin counting the 7 clean days and therefore immerse G-d willing at the end of the 12th day of the cycle.

This remedy has worked for many families in Israel. Hopefully, it will work for you too.

Read more about Shepherd's Purse here and here.

Bankrupt, with a Chance for a New Life

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I'm 54, and married with no kids. Until a few months ago, I was a very successful in mortgages and real estate with a seven-figure annual income. After a series of tragic misjudgments together with the dive of the mortgage market and things beyond my control, I went under. Not only have I lost my income and my business, but my life is down the drain.

My wife is quite spending oriented, so as long as she had money to blow, our marriage was OK. Now, there's barely food in the fridge, and she's threatening to walk. Meanwhile, my house is like a zoo, while I'm living with a she-tiger who shows nothing but fangs.

I don't feel like I have anything else to live for. Although I'm not that religious (casually traditional), I know that suicide is a bad number for a Jew (or any other human). Even so, although I don't have the guts to blow my brains out or to slit my wrists, I would like to take a nice calm overdose of sleeping pills and not wake up in the morning. Before I do, is there some way you can help me? I'm interested to hear what you have to say. Thank you, RC from Long Island

Dear RC,

When a person's whole life is money, once he loses his money, he loses his will to live. But, when one invests in Torah, spirituality, and helping others - nobody can take that away from them. You tell me who the better investor is.

If the disdainful description of your materialistic spendthrift wife is true, then it sounds like the only relationship you have is both your names appearing on the checks. If you want to rebuild your life in the same fashion that you've lived it up until now, maybe it's a good idea that you pop the pills...

Don't be an idiot, RC. Open your eyes and look at the tremendous favor that Hashem has done for you. Had your seven-figure income continued, you'd have never seeked The Almighty; you'd have gone through life and missed the boat. Money won't buy you neither piece of mind nor a plot in Heaven. Spirituality will. In the end, you'd have to cover all the markers you left behind in this world anyway, and that's really bad news.

Being poor has its advantages. Our sages say, "Numerous assets - numerous worries". Now that you don't have the business to worry about, I suggest you invest your energies in the direction of spirituality. Enroll in a Judaism Seminar (Try Aish Hatora or Ohr Sameach in your area), and find out what life's about. Explain to your wife that there's more to life than the country club, mah jhong, and shopping. Start living like a family and have Shabbat meals together. When's the last time you two strolled in the park with each other? Start now; I guarantee you that you're more important to her than your money.

Only the challenge of a spiritual rebirth can give you the will to keep going. You need it to build a healthy relationship with your wife as well. I don't think she's as shallow and materialistic as you say she is - you're probably projecting your own self image on her. Get started with a change of priorities - remember, money is a means, not an end. Once you start seeking Hashem, He'll take care of your financial worries too. It's never too late to learn how to invest in spirituality. Give Torah and mitzvas a try. In my neighborhood, almost everybody has a below-poverty-level income, yet most are smiling and fulfilled. You can be too. Remember, the dollar is dying, but Torah is as alive as it ever was. If you take my advice and seek Hashem, you'll soon taste a sweetness of life and a rejuvenation of your marriage that you never dreamed of. Best wishes for your success and blessings always, Lazer Brody

Introducing Hezy Levy

Several days ago, the Beams gave you a sneak preview of Hezy Levy. Today, you can read all about him in this week's new edition of BreslovWorld. Amazingly enough, Hezy is much better known in Europe than he is in the USA and in Israel. Yet, I have no doubt that he'll be a rising star all over the world, especially since the modern-day troubador made such an enormous sanctification of Hashem's Name in front of the whole world. The article also contains two high-resolution film clips of Hezy singing in the European Music Festival for Peace, and two fantastic MP3's. This is a must read, see, and hear.

Talking about must-reads, BreslovWorld was swamped with warm comments about the Melitzer Rebbetzin's cyber debut last week. She's now back with an amazing dose of Jewish woman's outlook entitled "Can You Create Angels?", which tells all about preparing for Passover.

Where do you go when you need to strengthen your emuna? To Rav Shalom Arush, of course. This week, Rav Shalom talks about emuna without doubts.

In this week's Kabbalah lesson, Rav Avraham Greenbaum explains how Hashem structured creation to assure a person's free will. Rabbi Pinchas Winston talks about will power, and Tzvi Fishman elaborates on the importance of guarding one's eyes in Windows of the Soul. Alice Jonsson ponders the aftermath of the Mercaz HaRav massacre 2 weeks ago.

On a lighter note, we have a special Passover cleaning section. Rebecca Shapiro presents Breslev Kids with part 3 of Little Nachman.

This week's Torah portion is Shmini and it's also Parshat Parah. Here's a Chassidic Pearl to embellish your Shabbat table too. Have a wonderful week!

Amalek and Linda

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I really don't trust anyone - especially rabbis - but somehow I do trust you. I hope you can help me, especially since nobody else seems to be able to. I'm seventeen and I've been religious all my life - now all I want is to drop the whole religion business. Sure, I still believe in God - it's not like I think Torah isn't true - I just don't want it. Plain and simple. Leave me alone, I'll do what I want, who cares what will happen. So I won't be religious - oh well. But I didn't always think like that. Two years ago I would have thought whoever wrote the above was crazy. I used to love Judaism. Really. I wasn't just going with the flow and doing what I was taught - I loved it and believed in it with all my heart. I was probably more than just your typical religious girl. Now I hate religion and rituals with a passion. I'm almost crazed by this desire to be as bad as possible, to get as far away from the word "Jewish" as I can.

My parents are devastated, my school kicked me out and everyone is very angry with me (to put it plainly). All they can do is yell at me that I should change back to what I used to be, and ask me thousands of times over WHY DID U CHANGE!!!! Belive me, I have absolutely no desire to change. I don't want to be that religious goody-goody I used to be. And I tell them that - I just want OUT!!! So stop preaching at me about why being Jewish is so good - because I don't see it. At this point I don't even want to see it anymore. But their question of why did I change I have no answer for.

Maybe you'll just think I'm a complete idiot- like the rest of the world does- but I really hope you don't. I don't think I'm an idiot. I'm a smart person, I won't usually do things without a good reason- but this I really have no answer for. I don't know why I changed. I just know that it wasn't another person that changed me. It just happened gradually and I have no idea why. My parents and school will blame different people but I know inside that there is no one to blame besides me.(not that I am blaming myself- I'm happy I changed). Is there some reason that a person would change drastically for no apparent reason- that they themselves don't even know why? Yours, "Linda" from the USA

Dear Linda,

I certainly don't think that you're an idiot; on the contrary. I receive loads of letters every day, many of which are from young people in your age group. Your seriousness, depth of character, and intellectual honesty ranks among the top 10% of young people with whom I speak. I thank The Almighty that you had the tremendously good sense to write me before you cut loose on a wild weekend to be "as bad as possible". Be careful - too many vultures would pounce on such a delicate turtle dove as you, heaven forbid.

For the time being, I want to respectfully request from your teachers, your parents, and the entire religious community to please get off your back. G-d gives free choice, and no one has the right to take that away from you. Preaching never helps, only personal example. If your teachers and parents have failed, maybe it's because you don't want to be like them. Therefore, let them correct themselves before correcting you. I allow you to tell them that in my name.

Now, let's cut through the garbage and get down to the nitty gritty. Linda, Amalek is grabbing you by the neck. He's got nothing to offer but shortest term cheap thrills and longterm misery. I've been down just about any of the roads that you dream of traveling. I've back-packed the 4 corners of the world, been through party years at the University of Maryland, through plenty of blood-sweat-and-tear years in the Israeli Army, and through personal growth and rebirth years at Yeshiva and in my subsequent years as a rabbi and emotional counselor. True, there's plenty to learn in the outside world, such as dedication, commitment, etc. The problem is that you might get killed - morally, emotionally, or spiritually - while you're learning it. I'll be happy to show you that anything you'd like to learn is in the Torah. A king's daughter doesn't have to step in the manure of a cowshed to fetch a glass of milk. Besides, by throwing away the benevolent yoke of Torah and mitzvas, you won't gain freedom; you'll only become a slave to Amalek (who really runs the show in the USA; "Amalek" and "dollar" are the same gematria), social pressure, peer pressure, and your own evil inclinations. You'll do plenty of things that deep down are against your wishes - I don't call that freedom of spirit.

Your desire for change is the result of small but gradual and persistent doses of Hollywood, TV, trashy books and magazines that you've been peeking at, the web, and other anti-Torah mental junk food that's been penetrating your heart and brain like drops of spiritual toxins. Eventually, the toxins accumulate in your soul, and... All of a sudden, you've become enamored with the outside world - its speech, its dress, and its warped idea of love and sex, and the Judaism you once loved - by your own testimony - has lost its glamor.

You wake up one morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and say. "Hey, I'm a nurd! I want to be cool and foxy like Britney Spears!" Let me share a little secret with you - Britney and her friends are miserable. They're trying to be like the old Linda. One of Hollywood's most famous TV stars is a brutal, miserable alcoholic whose blown four marriages. How do I know? He came to me for counseling. If you don't believe me, I'll let you contact his agent who was the go-between. Madonna and her buddies are all looking for spirituality, but unfortunately, they're knocking on the wrong doors.

Linda, you ask the question, "Why have I changed? Who has changed me?" Here's a bombshell for your parents and teachers: Hashem is changing you. Hashem is using your bad decisions for your own good, because He loves you so much. He doesn't want you to be a shallow Jewish girl that discusses wigs and clothes styles all day long. Since you haven't developed a personal relationship with Hashem up until now, He wants you to do so by starting from scratch.

Hashem agrees that you should do what you want. But, when you really love someone, you want to do their will also. You can't love someone without a personal, intimate relationship. Hashem wants you to have such a relationship with Him. How? By talking to him in your own words for an hour a day.

For the time being, I don't care if you don't pick up a prayer book, just so long as you speak to Hashem every day. I want you to read The Garden of Emuna - it will teach you things that you never learned in Beis Yaakov.

Feel free to open up to Hashem - cry, laugh, and pour your heart out honestly, with no holds barred. Tell Hashem your innermost feelings. I do ask one thing from you: While you're making your spiritual search - which you have every right to do - don't do anything that you'll regret for the rest of your life. Continue keeping Shabbos, eating kosher, washing your hands in the morning, and dressing modestly. These four mitzvas will keep your brain clear and help you to find truth.

Linda, please remain in touch, and avoid arguments with people. May G-d bless you always and lead you on the path of truth and inner peace. With blessings always, LB

No solutions

Rav Shalom Arush came to Ashdod yesterday, where he delivered one of the most emotional talks I ever heard him give. Among other things, he said:

* There is no military solution to the Arab-Israeli conflict;

* There is no viable political solution to the Arab-Israeli conflict;

* The security situation here is worsening because of spiritual apathy;

* Hashem has put the people of Israel in a situation where nothing can help them but teshuva, prayer, and hafatza (spreading emuna). There is no government in Israel that can solve today's problems.

* Hitbodedut on Purim can achieve miraculous salvations.

Rav Shalom is neither an alarmist nor a doomsday prophet. Yet, he's terribly troubled about Israel's predicament. He urges everyone to devoteat least 10 minutes a day in praying for the Jewish people in the Land of Israel.

Purim at BreslevWorld

Purim is this coming Friday. Would you like to put yourself in the Purim mode? This week's edition of BreslovWorld has a dozen wonderful articles about Purim.

Do you think the world is improving? What's the ultimate goal? Ask Rebbe Nachman. In his interpretation of Rebbe Nachman's "Lost Princess", Rabbi Shalom Arush shows us that in reality, there is no concealment of Hashem's Divine Presence.

Read about the difference between flamboyant power and silent strength in yours truly's weekly article. Rabbi Pinchas Winston talks about the meaning of true Bitachon, trusting in Hashem. Rav Avraham Greenbaum's weekly Kabbalah lesson describes the "hanhaga", Hashem's Divine mode of government.

Why should a women dress modestly? Tzvi Fishman gives us the answer in Part 11 of "Secret of the Brit."

Rebecca Shapiro invites Breslev Kids to enjoy part 2 of Little Nachman. Alice Jonsson takes us to Mount Katahdin in Maine - we're very fortunate to have her as our Noahide correspondent.

This week's Torah portion is Tsav. Here's a story and a Chassidic Pearl for your Shabbat table.

Rabbi Shalom Arush has a special message for you.

Breslov World and the Beams wish you a wonderful week.

Learning Morals from an Ant

Go to the ant, sluggard; see its ways and become wise. (Proverbs 6:6) [Perek Shira, Chapter 6]

Let's view an example of nature's classroom, the divine wisdom within each creation. Look at an anthill. Ants teach us three main lessons - honesty, faith, and diligence. Observe closely, and you'll see why.

Ants are invertebrates - they don't have a spine. Most invertebrates overheat and dehydrate in full sunlight; therefore, most of their activity above ground level is either in early morning, in late evening, or in full shade. If an ant tells a lie, his peers execute him immediately.

In bright sunlight, we don't see any ants crawling around. If we were to cast a shadow over the mound, a leader ant would peek his head out of the main entrance and walk around freely in the shade. Then, he'd return to the edge of the hole to call his buddies to come outside and join him. Meanwhile, if we were to remove the object that cast the shadow, and the emerging ants would not find shade, they'd kill the leader ant for lying to them. Ants don't tolerate the slightest form of dishonesty.

An ant lives for approximately six months, yet a grain and a half of wheat is sufficient food for its entire lifetime. If we were to dig down to the central warehouses of the anthill, we'd find about three hundred grains per ant. Each ant gathers enough food for two hundred years!

An ant never stops working, because he has faith that The Almighty will grant him a lengthy life. An ant never steals nor covets. The moment he takes a bite from a grain, the grain acquires the unique odor of its owner's saliva. No other ant will dare touch the grain of a comrade. So, by observing ants, we learn about honesty, diligence, and faith.

Shouldn't we demand from ourselves the minimal moral standards of an ant?

Emuna News Bulletin: New Entifada Brewing - a Message from Rav Shalom Arush

In answer to the many letters that we've received in recent hours, this morning's article on Mystical Paths is true - Arabs attacked Rav Shalom Arush shlit'a and his son David Moshe during hitbodedut. I just spoke to Rav Shalom, and am happy to report that beyond bruises and scratches, he and his son are OK, thank G-d.

The Israeli media is purposely turning a blind eye to the new entifada that's erupting all over Israel. Last night, three Arabs tried to hijack an Egged #350 Mehadrin bus on its way from Ashdod to Bnai Brak. Thanks to Hashem and the lightning fast action of Ashdod's Police special forces, the 3 were seized. My wife and my daughter were on that bus.

The media is ignoring civil disorder among the Israeli Arab population in the Galil, Jerusalem, and Ramla areas that includes rock throwing and several cases of assault. Hizbulla radio from Lebanon and Hamas radio from Gaza are inciting Israeli Arabs to riot and violence. There is no longer a "safe" place in Israel.

Rav Shalom told me to say that the entire people of Israel are in grave danger. The IDF doesn't have the answer. The only thing that can save us is Teshuva, Hitbodedut, and Hafatza - spreading emuna far, wide, and fast. We appeal to all of our friends and readers to devote 10 minutes of your daily personal prayer to begging Hashem to have mercy on the people of Israel. There's no time to waste.