Lazer Beams

Do Prayers Really Help?

Dear Rabbi Lazer,
I don't know if tears on a keyboard can cause a short circuit or not, but my fingers are slipping because the keys are all wet. A couple of minutes ago, I was informed that my best friend died of cancer in the brain. In between sobs, I'm typing this letter to you, because I need some consolation. For six straight weeks I've been begging G-d to save my friend, doubling up on my davening (praying) and saying Tehillim (Psalms) every day. I feel like Hashem doesn't care about me or my prayers. What's the use of pouring our heart out if in the end our prayers don't get answered? Please understand me - I don't mean to be disrespectful to G-d, I just want to understand. I'm glad you're available for people like me. Also, thanks so much for coming to see us in Australia. Yours gratefully, Joanie from Melbourne

Dear Joanie,

May The Almighty comfort you at this tragic time of your untimely loss. Losing a close friend is even more difficult than losing a pound of flesh, since the souls of true friends are intertwined in a spiritual bond.

You can be comforted with the knowledge that not a single syllable of your prayers and Psalms has gone to waste. In a way, we're like little children - when G-d doesn't grant us what we want, we cry. I promise you, though, that Hashem always does for the best. The fact that we don't understand, doesn't alter the fact.

Here're a few important things to know about prayers one says in behalf of others:

Point one: Prayers often act to reduce a sick person's suffering in some manner.
Point two: Prayers have the ability to extend a sick person's life by a few months, weeks, days or even a few hours. Halacha forbids hastening a death in any way, since each moment of life is more precious than the Hope Diamond. Your prayers more than likely added some extra time units to your friend's life. For this, you can be joyous, because your deceased friend - may Hashem grant him/her eternal peace - will now be a "melitz" (mediator) on your behalf in the Heavenly Court. Anytime an accusing angel asks for a stiff verdict against you, your friend's soul will jump up in protest. You couldn't buy such a defense attorney for all the tea in China.
Point three: Even if the prayers effected no change in your friend's condition, they still are a source of merit for him/her, since prayer arouses Heavenly compassion, and your prayers were said because of the price of suffering that your friend was paying. These merits will stand by your friend in the World to Come.
Point four: Prayers bring salvation to other individuals and to the community as a whole. When Moshiach comes, we'll learn how each prayer uttered by each individual invoked Divine compassion and brought blessings to the world.

Now is your time for mourning, and again, may you be consoled among the other mourners for Zion and Jerusalem. In the long haul, Joanie, you should rejoice. I can just imagine the joy that Hashem gets when he hears His daughter Joanie from the far-away continent of Australia calling out His name. By virtue of your continued prayers, another Kassam rocket from Gaza will either miss its mark today or blow up in the terrorist's face. Prayers from Australia can save lives in Israel. Don't let the evil inclination discourage you, just continue talking to Hashem more than ever, and I'm sure that you'll be granted all your heart's wishes for the very best, b'ezras Hashem. Yours always, Lazer

Gifts

Oftentimes, the greatest gift you can bestow on another human being is a non-judgmental, listening ear. People forget material gifts, but they don't forget the time, patience, and understanding you accorded them. The best gifts originate in the heart, not in the wallet. --an excerpt from Lazer Beams, a delightful little book that's a perfect gift for someone you really care about

Value of Commodities

The universe is comprised of four types of creations - mineral, plant, animal, and human. Which of the four commodities is most valuable?

Most people answer "human". But wait - let's take a closer look. Apparently, the simpler a creation, the more valuable it is. Minerals have the simplest spiritual makeup, yet an ounce of diamonds or uranium commands a handsome sum. Plants are next on the rung, and although they have lower pricetags than mineral gems, an ounce of an important medicinal herb is still worth a lot of money. A pound of lamb or beef - animals - is worth less than an ounce of medicinal herbs, even though animals are higher on the spiritual ladder than plants. A pound of human flesh is apparently worthless, because it serves no practical purpose. But wait a second...

We all know that a human life is priceless, more than any gem. Why? The divine soul within a person - that tiny spark of G-d within each of us - is what gives a person value, and sets the human above all other creations. Without that divine soul, a human is worth less than a pound of hamburger. Therefore, it's senseless to endlessly cultivate the body without investing in the soul.

If you want to enhance your personal value - enhance your soul, and cultivate the spiritual side of your life. How? The best way to start is by learning emuna, what the world is all about, and who runs it. Without learning emuna, you can't possibly attain any measure of true self awareness or to determine your true mission in life. We owe it to ourselves to find out what we're doing on this earth. This will help too.

Spirituality and Prejudice

The human soul is that tiny spark of godliness within each one of us. Loving one's fellow man - irregardless of race, creed, or color - is therefore synonymous to loving God. As such, spirituality and prejudice simply don't go together.

If you're anywhere in the vicinity of Melbourne, Australia tonight, come by and see us at the Caulfield Hebrew Congregation at 8 PM.

Imitating Others

Even if a crow wears a coat of elaborate white feathers and walks around saying "gobble, gobble" all day long, he still won't be a turkey...

Whenever a crow tries to imitate a turkey, he's doomed to frustration, for he'll never succeed. The same goes for humans.

People imitate others for two main reasons: First, they have low self-images and lack confidence in themselves; and second, they're incognizant of their own individual talents and aptitudes.

One of the most important points of spiritual awareness is the knowledge that you are unique. The Almighty has given you personal qualities and abilities that no one else in the world has, so that you can perform your own special mission on this earth. When you try to imitate someone else, you fail to accomplish your own task, and ultimately become frustrated and unhappy. Being yourself and cultivating your own special skills are the key to happiness and fulfillment.

"Challakeh": First Tearless Haircut

With the "Challakeh" season coming up on Lag B'Omer, here's a continuation of yesterday's post. Warmest regards from Australia and have a wonderful Shabbat!

The "Challakeh" ceremony: Significance of a boy's 3rd birthday and first haircut

The "Challakeh" ceremony, whereby a child receives his first haircut at the age of three, is hinted in the Torah in two places: First, in Leviticus, the word והתגלח, which means to shave off the hair, is written with an oversized letter "gimel" which has a numerical value of three. Second, in Deuteronomy, a passage states, "A person is like the tree of a field." Just as a tree grows tall and with time, produces fruit, so it is hoped that a little boy will grow in knowledge, good deeds, and eventually have children of his own. The Torah commands that if you plant a tree, all fruits that grow during the first three years are "Orlah", or off-limits, so too we don't cut a child's hair during the first three years.

The age of 3 marks a turning point in a toddler's life. Shedding the long locks of babyhood helps little boys look forward to their new "big boy" responsibilities. Gone are the days of bottle, diaper and nestling in Mommy's arms. A 3-year-old boy is ready to receive "payis", his side curls, a "kipa" (skullcap), and "tztitzis", the ritual fringes that every male Jew is commanded to wear. With his new haircut, kipa, payis, and tzitzis, the little fellow of 3 is ready to move up to the world of friends, school and formal Torah education. He will learn blessings, prayers and the Hebrew alphabet. Yes - we begin teaching our little boys to read at the age of 3.

Cutting his hair makes a strong emotional impression on the child. He knows he is entering a new stage of maturity, a fact that helps him live up to his new role and responsibilities.

Numerous families celebrate the "challakeh" at the grave of Rabbi Shimon Bar-Yochai, in Miron, Israel, and cut the child's hair near the cave where he lived and later died. Others prefer to take the child to a yeshiva or to their own rabbi - preferably a scholar and a pious man, because the "upsherin", or actual 1st haircut, should be done in a holy place and by a righteous person. Oftentimes, before the child gets his final haircut, first the scissors go from hand to hand while family, friends and rabbis take turns snipping. The first cut is at the spot where tefillin will be placed.

In Israel, this custom is closely associated with Lag B'Omer, which falls on May 2 this year. It's an incredibly joyous scene as thousands of 3-year-old boys receive their first haircut at the grave of Rabbi Shimon Bar-Yochai. Because this custom is tied into Kabbalistic thought concerning the spirituality of hair, many put off the ceremony until Lag B'Omer. Following their haircuts, the children each get a plastic Aleph-Bet card, with honey smeared on each letter. Parents then encourage their little ones to lick the honey while saying each letter, so that Torah should be "sweet on their tongues."

A hearty mazal-tov to all of you that will be making "Challakehs" for you 3-year olds in the coming weeks - may you have all the sweetness and joy in the world, and see your children growing in health of body and spirit, amen.