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Thursday, 13 February 2014

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Yonatan Perry

Jon,

In agreement with all that Rabbi Lazer shared above;
considering watching this video from TV news in AZ, about a woman who had a worm on her Brain stem from eating, yes Pork.

This occurred not in a third world or a developing nation but here in the US. Fast forward to 3:37 in the video.
We are told to be Kadsoh - and one thing that makes us Kadosh is the Foods we eat or the things we don't touch. Lev 11:44

Video of woman who contracted a worm - on her brainstem from eating Pork.
http://youtu.be/yNC1i6RlnTg

Anonymous

Is it possible to have a follow-up on Jon's Emuna after the meat-free week you 're advising him to follow ?
I decided to take on my own a N-Acetyl-Glucosamine supplement for 17 days (twice a day). Where it gets really really bad is that I took it sometimes right before shaharit, sometimes right after shaharit alone at home all because of joint pain and now I feel terrible about it (all those times saying the name of G.D with such a filthy mouth, how fool was I !! I feel like it is a unpardonable sin..), but didn't took other non kosher food aside from that...During those days, one night I had the most violent and crazy argument with my wife and it ended up so so badly I lost my mind, beat her (one slap in the arm), she beat me too, made her angry, crying like never before etcetc the most stupid thing is now I don't even remember the reason why it all happened.

I soon realized what a jerk I was and I really regret it (I read your book the garden of peace/the garden of emuna with really making the effort to put things in practice although it got my wife to do teshuva two years ago), but again this seems unforgivable.

From what I understand, getting angry like mad is the worst because it is a deny of Hashem's existence through a lack of emuna, a kind of avoda zara (I wasn't strong enough to cope with the world around me, the tests Hashem sends me).

I feel like as I lost Emuna during that argument so did I lost my connection to Hashem :-(

I feel like I have to fast for 17 days in order to undo the barrier the glucosamine supplement might have caused to my neshama, though I don't feel sure if it is the right remedy, I don't know what to do.
The same with my wife. Although we're fine again together and we talk like nothing happened I know she still didn't pardon me, I made a real big scare in her soul that's for sure and I don't know how to be forgiven, neither repairing the damage done to her. I so much love her...

The worst in my story ? Some time after that argument and taking the supplement, like a month ago, I was watching a debate between an orthodox jew and a messianic jew and right then the worst doubts took over my mind when the messianic jew spoke. And I really only saw 3 mins of that pseudo debate! In fact it is like only one sentence got me doubting ?! I don't even want to enter in further details with that because I feel in shame..
I quite the supplement a long time ago and I'm already fasting through out most of the day, eating meat only at shabbat and being vegetarian the rest of the week (a tea in the morning and a light meal at 12:00AM& or skipping that meal and eating a normal meal only at night)..

I regret what I did, and while I feel Hashem might have forgive me for these stupid sin I don't know how to repair the damage I may have caused to my soul and to my wife. A rabbi told me that Forgiving and Repairing are two very different things that need to be done in order to do a real teshuva. Also,getting angry like mad to the point of losing one's self might cause one's jewish soul to depart from one's body, thus feeling a lack of connection to Hashem providence, it may/may not be irreparable decree..
Because of these insane doubts I feel like I'm stuck, and praying is sometimes difficult with the kind of thoughts (doubts) that pass through my mind always questioning things...

Any insight on my situation R. Brody ? How to be forgiven by my wife? How to repair the damage I did to her ? How to be forgiven by Hashem? How to repair the damage I did to my soul? I to get back my emuna and stop having these gross doubts ???

My situation is deeply messed-up I guess...

Shabbat Shalom...

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