Jihad and an Isolated Israel
The Blacksmith of Grodno

Joy, not Zealotry and Anger

Dear Rabbi Lazer,

Broken Heart
Six months ago I wrote you about my husband's spiritual slide, that he shaved his beard and stopped putting on tefillin in the morning. We exchanged a few emails and you told me that I was being too zealous and too "frum", always nitpicking at small details rather than stressing joy and emuna. I must be honest that you really upset me, and my heart (really my Yetzer Hara, but I didn't know it at the time) told me that you're just some NaNach-BT-Breslever parading as a rabbi and spiritual guide. But, when my husband opened up divorce proceeding in the Beis Din, I got a wake-up call from above that I had better listen to you. Other rabbis here were telling me to get a divorce. They said that my husband would ruin our three boys spiritually, and that I'd be better off on my own. You said the opposite. Despite the way I insulted you, you answered with patience that I should stop criticizing him and stop yelling, and that I should pray for him at least an hour a day. I did, while doing my best to control my temper and to be attractive at home. Better to be a meshiggina Breslever than an arrogant single parent. (I can't believe how arrogant I was in thinking all the negative about you - please forgive me).

The patience paid off. After the Shalom-Bayit Shabbaton that you and Dr. Zev Ballen did here in LA this past October, my husband cancelled the divorce file. This has been the best Chanuka ever. And like you said in your lecture to women, I now give him nothing but positivity. It has paid off big time. He is doing all sorts of things to earn more love and respect, which he is thriving on. Not only is he back to davening with a minyan, but he now has a Gemara chavrusa between mincha and maariv every day. He is spending much more time with our boys too.

I don't know how many families Rabbi Arush and you have saved, but ours is one of them. I just want all your readers to know that Yiddishkeit with joy - and not zealotry - is the way to go. By the way, we hope that the Shalom Bayit Shabbaton will turn into an annual event here. Forever gateful, Miriam

Dear Miriam,

I don't remember that you insulted me but of course I forgive you anyway. Thanks so very much for your letter. Happy Chanuka and blessings for another simcha in the family this year, LB  

Comments

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gagalbert

Wow...sometimes, even in our mortal eyes, things can work out great. Very happy for Miriam. And sometimes things work out to be, in our mortal eyes, not too great...but even then we must accept that, despite our feelings it is for the best...yes, but it is VERY VERY hard, at times, to accept what we view as terrible outcomes and still be joyous.

Daviddavid474

Lazer judgements are closed on chanuchah forgive me please if I insulted you or your teachings this year . All the love without bounderies was hard for me .

Puah yiska

BH ~ it is so nice to read / hear a "miracle" testimonial on Chanuka :) gr8 team effort :) yasher koach !

Puah yiska

Dear Judy Benjamin .... Honestly being a divorcee with more than one child and almost a handful of boys/ some of whom are young men now, I had trouble sleeping after reading this "miracle"' testimonial because it really tugged on my heart strings and I have been living separate from my xhusband for almost nine years and what I would like to share with you is I found a significant amount of information helpful in rabbi arush's womens wisdom ( I have read this over- and-over for about the past year-and-a half) the book does commend women for sticking with their husbands under almost ALL circumstances and it also validates the exceptional circumstances and it maybe helpful for you to consider reading it too. In this testimonial what I tapped into was the womens name: Miriam and Miriam is a( to put it mildly) a strong name and this woman may have the power and gifts of Miriam and she tapped into them and BH made the turn around. Also it sounds like your comment and the story maybe comparing apples and oranges. Sorry you are not feeling heard and please note that your are loved:)
Kol tuv and blessings for everything good always:)

Lori, The Netherlands

I am another woman who can attest to the amazing spiritual wisdom of Rav Shalom Arush. I wrote to Rabbi Lazer Brody because I was experiencing marital difficulties. I thought divorce was the only option. I bought the book Womens wisdom for myself and Garden of Peace for my husband along with many CDs. I intensified my prayer.

I am grateful for the marital difficulties because it led me to Emuna and brought me closer to Hashem.

I am one happy woman today. Last night my husband and I went to a city Chanukha celebration. Seats were taken but seats were offered to us in the front row. We watched Haredi young boys dance and they pulled my husband into the circle to dance. I beamed with sheer joy as my husband danced.
He beamed with joy as he danced.

To think of what I would have lost....Rabbi Lazer Brody I can not thank you enough. Miriam thank you for sharing your story.

Emuna works!

Clarissa S Borghi

Dear Rabi Lazer Brody,
I too want to thank you and Rav Shalom Arush for all the wisdom you have in your books. I married in a very young age and as my husband says "if I've never read Woman's Wisdom and if he had never read Garden of Peace our marriage would not be the way it is today". Our marriage is full of Divine light and I'm sure your merits are counted.
When we went to Israel in the beginning of the year, you said some words to my husband and now he daily studies Talmud. We watch your classes every week.

Todah!
Clarissa Sobocinski Borghi
Brazil, Sao Paulo

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