My wife is way overweight. Whenever she gets pressured by anything, she grabs chocolate rugalach (croissants - LB) to console herself. I've tried everything to get her to diet, but if she loses two pounds in one week, she'll gain back four the next. What do I do? I'm trying my best not to look at other women, but with my wife more and more turning me off, it's getting harder. By the way, I really appreciate all your health and exercise advice - it's really helping me. With appreciation and hoping to hear from you, Meir
- The first thing that you must know is that a husband's prayers for a wife are very powerful. In your daily personal prayers (which I hope you're doing), invest 5 minutes of prayer for her in your own words. Ask Hashem to uplift her self-esteem and ask Hashem to help you give her the love and attention that she needs, so that she won't have to find solace in sweets, which are none other than chocolate-covered poison for the body.
- Buy her a gift of a new pair of walking shoes and take walks together; start for short durations and work it up to an hour, at least three times a week. If you have small children, it's worth it to pay a babysitter during this hour. You can't imagine what it will do for your health and relationship.
- Diet never helps. You must influence her to change her thinking and lifestyle, but this should be done as a couple. Cakes, cookies, ice-cream and other sweets as well as soft-drinks and other sugary manufactured foods should be considered as if they're not kosher, just like keeping pork in your home, for these substances destroy health. Together, go on an eating regiment (lifestyle, not diet!) that is based on foodstuffs that are unadulterated by manufacturers. Get all white sugar, corn syrup solids and modified starches out of your life - that includes cereals, cakes, cookies and most manufactured foods. Compensate with the best fruits, veggies, fish, meat and poultry, and cheeses. Once you lower carbs, you can enjoy nuts and seeds without worrying about gaining weight.
- Meir, intrinsically, a wife wants her husband to love her more than anything. Make the first move and give her that love, and I promise that she'll bend over backwards to please you. Meanwhile, offer her an incentive of a nice chuck of money to buy new clothes every time she drops a size or two. This is much better than paying doctor bills and it's also a mitzvah from the Torah to clothe your wife (ksut).
Start with the above four steps and keep me posted. I pray for your success and her good health. Blessings always, LB