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Sunday, 04 September 2016


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Rachelli, this is a depressing post. I can relate but I also am seeking religious leaders to inspire me about how to treasure the time I have with my kids. In your post, time with kids= suffering from G!d. Really?

Kalman Mem

There’s a key difference between parental and divine tough love:

In this case of parental tough love, the parent usually tells the kid: “I’m doing X, because it will help you with Y”. Explaining the reason for the hardship –even if the child doesn’t easily accept- is a key part of tough love.

But in the case of HaShem’s tough love, there’s never a clearly stated reason. It’s left for us to guess. Is X happening to me because I didn’t Daven right? Keep Shabbos the right way? What should I do differently?

This really bothers me.


Erica, no. Not really. And, I am not a religious leader. Rav Brody is. I am an average person trying to live her life with emuna as best as I can. Many people can relate to that, because they're trying to do the same thing. Furthermore, you don't need to draw such extreme conclusions by comparing my kids to suffering from God! They were just the lead-in for my point.


Kalman, this is a great question. The answer is that doing personal prayer is the best way to figure out the message. Sometimes it is more straightforward, and sometimes it's not. But as long as you're consistent in your personal prayer, you'll also find out other things that you need to correct as well, and hopefully you'll get your original question answered too.
Everyone needs to do at least a few minutes of daily soul accounting. That's when you can go over your questions and ask Hashem directly.
My hunch is that Hashem wants us to focus more on correcting our interpersonal behavior, if we're already religious. Yes, everyone can use improvement in keeping halachot. But the yetzer loves to distract us from what we really need to be working on, which is usually treating others better; particularly our spouses and families.

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