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Racheli's 1,000 Calorie Gluten-Free Coconut Lemon Muffins

Lemon muffin 2

Last night, I was totally overwhelmed with work and Shabbat prep, so I decided to make muffins. I like to eat, especially when I'm stressed. Actually, it's more like a compulsion. I just have to eat all the time. Since I'm basically eating very low carb, I came up with this recipe, and it's pretty delish if I do say so myself.

WARNING! This recipe is:

1) not for people who eat high carb or are counting calories

2) not for people who are afraid to bake without measurements

3) not for people who don't like coconut, walnuts, or lemon

4) not for people who have better ways of spending their time than experimenting with coconut lemon muffins because they're desperate for something sugar free and gluten free that won't kill them or give them excruciating stomach pains.

If you are none of the above, definitely try it! Here goes:

4 eggs, the cream from a can of coconut cream, ground walnuts, ground almond, (I used more walnut than almond because almonds are crazy expensive!) xanthan gum, lots of lemon juice (I used lemon concentrate because I'm lazy like that,) baking powder, baking soda, and any sugar-free sweetener your little heart desires. You can use stevia, apple juice concentrate, the fake stuff, silan, or whatever. I think that was everything.

You can also add shredded coconut flakes, or if you're feeling fancy, make a whipped topping from another can of coconut cream. See below for pseudo-directions. 

To get the cream from the can of coconut cream, you should let it sit in your pantry for three years like I did, or better yet, put it in your fridge for a few hours until the creamy part rises to the top. DO NOT SHAKE THE CAN! Don't use the leftover liquid. What is that, anyhow? Coconut oil? Slime? 

Mix it together until it looks like a fluffy blob. Scoop it into muffin pans and bake it for God knows how long. You know, until it's done. Let it get on the browner side. If you can control yourself, wait until the muffins cool a bit before you eat them. They will have a moist, fluffy, and strangely gummy texture. 

I promise that I will never, ever write a cookbook. (Bli neder.) 

Shabbat Shalom!

~Racheli

p.s.- While you're waiting for your muffins to finish baking, don't miss Rav Brody's OMG post below on wigs! OMG!!! 

Comments

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David

My daughter made a brownie tray stuffed with cookie dough marshmallows and some other fudge like ingredient. So I took your advice and had some on Shabbat after 7 weeks of the "diet"
Those brownies were awesome and thanks to your dieting advice I could only eat 4 or 5 bites and was completely stuffed. When my weight was 214 lbs I know for sure I could and would have eaten half the tray.
Did the diet alter anything regarding digestion or is it a mental issue?
David Rubin still still Still still in Miami

racheli

Good for you, David! Sounds delicious! Yesterday I ate half a challah, but I'm doing my best not to beat myself up. We gotta live a little, right?

Tena

Racheli, is your challah gluten free?

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