Of all the pictures I could have posted of our return to Miami, I chose this??
Just in case you were wondering, David is Princess and I'm Cray-Cray. And believe me, it doesn't make a difference if we're hungry or not.
So.... we're heeerreeeeee!!!! I can't believe it. I feel like I landed on another planet. Everything is so different here!
All week I've been yo-yo-ing from, "I'm so happy to be back!" to "OMG what have I done??"
But who cares about my fragile and overwhelmed self? Let's talk about COSTCO!! Oh, Costco, how I've missed you so! I'm not going to lie. I really did miss Costco. And I can't believe how many things are kosher at my Costco! Kosher meat, chicken, all kinds of salads, cheeses, dips, snacks, good Heavens!
And ADIDAS CLOTHING FOR $9.99??? Somebody pinch me.
I just can't get over the selection and variety of food here! What am I going to do?? I walk around the stores in a slack-jawed daze, taking pictures, just in awe of everything.
Another majorly shocking experience was Walmart. O.M.G. The crazy prices! The crazy selection! The crazy people! It was unreal. But my favorite part was seeing a guy driving his electric wheelchair up to the register next to us. He was playing Kenny G. so loud, he could have DJ'd for a club on South Beach. So I was checking him out and then I noticed he's got a Magen David, a cross, and about 4 other large gold religious symbols on his necklace. And his fingers were decked out with rings galore. Maybe he really was a DJ. Fascinating.
Oh, you know what else was shocking? Lowriders. Horrible. Forgot how horrible they were. Can anybody explain the logic to me? Does the fact that your head is vibrating and your eardrums are rupturing make that driver popular? Does a bouncing car really attract the "ladies"? What is attractive about this?? Horribly fascinating.
Here's another shocker. Miami is GORGEOUS! There seems to be a competition between developers to see who can get the top names to put on their buildings so they can charge top prices. Armani, Fendi, Lagerfeld, Reckles... I can't believe how over-the-top these places are! Infinity pools on the 50th floor?? An elevator for your car?? How do so many people have so much money? And more importantly, how do I get them to share some of it with me?
Miami has certainly turned into one of the world's premier locations for materialism. I can see by the looks of this city that our wise sages were right. Wealth is certainly a greater test than poverty. It's so easy to get distracted by the pursuit of wealth and all the fabulousness that comes with it. It's too easy to forget that it is Hashem that is the Source of all of this wealth and the potential blessings that it can bring.
I suspect being poor is more likely to cause a person to cry out to Hashem, because they're in a position to need help. I don't think that's necessarily the case with rich people. I wonder if anyone's called out to Hashem while shopping at Cartier: "Hashem! Help me! I have too much money and don't know which platinum and diamond watch to buy!" Hmmmm.
In other news, it's great to see so many people being obviously Jewish. Miami has several strong Torah-observant communities, and I'm looking forward to meeting lots of great people.
In the meantime, wish me luck as I try to stay strong and not devour those ridiculously delicious and toxic Entenman's chocolate-covered donuts.
BTW, if you haven't read my article this week, The Lost Check, read it now! It's one of my favorites!
And could you do me a favor? I'd love to know which one of these Snickers bars you are when you're hungry! Send me a comment!
And don't forget to check out Rav Brody's weekly emuna class! Details below.