Lazer Beams

Shepherd's Purse

An American tourist once asked a Jerusalem rabbi how religious Israelis succeed in having such large families? The rabbi answered, "It's because Shepherd's Purse grows wild by the roadside all over the Land of Israel."

Lately, I've had numerous letters from women that complain of lengthy menstrual cycles that leave them few days of purity and reduce their chances of pregnancy.

Rebbe Nachman says there's no such thing as despair. Save your money, don't run to the gynecologist, and don't fill yourself with pills. There's an easier, more natural way to become clean on the 5th day, so with hefsek tahara and 7 clean days, the unpure period is reduced to 12 days. With ritual immesion in the mikva after sundown of the 12th day, a woman's chances for pregnancy are highest, since for many women, ovulation is on the 13th day of the cycle.

Here's all you need to do (I learned this remedy from the great Rabbi Yisroel Yaacov Fisher ob"m of the Eda Haredis in Jerusalem): Gather 5 or 6 young green leaves from a shepherd's purse plant that grows all over the place here, at roadsides and on empty lots. If you live outside of Israel, ask your local herb specialist for the leaves. Wash them off in cold water and make sure they have no bugs in them. Then, boil them in a small tea kettle with water, letting the herb tea brew for about 5 minutes. It may be a bit bitter, so sweeten the tea with a teaspoon of honey. Drink a glass of this tea on the mornings of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th day of the menstrual period. Before sundown of the 5th day, you'll hopefully be clean as a whistle, so you can begin counting the 7 clean days and therefore immerse G-d willing at the end of the 12th day of the cycle.

This remedy has worked for many families in Israel. Hopefully, it will work for you too.

Read more about Shepherd's Purse here and here.

Bankrupt, with a Chance for a New Life

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I'm 54, and married with no kids. Until a few months ago, I was a very successful in mortgages and real estate with a seven-figure annual income. After a series of tragic misjudgments together with the dive of the mortgage market and things beyond my control, I went under. Not only have I lost my income and my business, but my life is down the drain.

My wife is quite spending oriented, so as long as she had money to blow, our marriage was OK. Now, there's barely food in the fridge, and she's threatening to walk. Meanwhile, my house is like a zoo, while I'm living with a she-tiger who shows nothing but fangs.

I don't feel like I have anything else to live for. Although I'm not that religious (casually traditional), I know that suicide is a bad number for a Jew (or any other human). Even so, although I don't have the guts to blow my brains out or to slit my wrists, I would like to take a nice calm overdose of sleeping pills and not wake up in the morning. Before I do, is there some way you can help me? I'm interested to hear what you have to say. Thank you, RC from Long Island

Dear RC,

When a person's whole life is money, once he loses his money, he loses his will to live. But, when one invests in Torah, spirituality, and helping others - nobody can take that away from them. You tell me who the better investor is.

If the disdainful description of your materialistic spendthrift wife is true, then it sounds like the only relationship you have is both your names appearing on the checks. If you want to rebuild your life in the same fashion that you've lived it up until now, maybe it's a good idea that you pop the pills...

Don't be an idiot, RC. Open your eyes and look at the tremendous favor that Hashem has done for you. Had your seven-figure income continued, you'd have never seeked The Almighty; you'd have gone through life and missed the boat. Money won't buy you neither piece of mind nor a plot in Heaven. Spirituality will. In the end, you'd have to cover all the markers you left behind in this world anyway, and that's really bad news.

Being poor has its advantages. Our sages say, "Numerous assets - numerous worries". Now that you don't have the business to worry about, I suggest you invest your energies in the direction of spirituality. Enroll in a Judaism Seminar (Try Aish Hatora or Ohr Sameach in your area), and find out what life's about. Explain to your wife that there's more to life than the country club, mah jhong, and shopping. Start living like a family and have Shabbat meals together. When's the last time you two strolled in the park with each other? Start now; I guarantee you that you're more important to her than your money.

Only the challenge of a spiritual rebirth can give you the will to keep going. You need it to build a healthy relationship with your wife as well. I don't think she's as shallow and materialistic as you say she is - you're probably projecting your own self image on her. Get started with a change of priorities - remember, money is a means, not an end. Once you start seeking Hashem, He'll take care of your financial worries too. It's never too late to learn how to invest in spirituality. Give Torah and mitzvas a try. In my neighborhood, almost everybody has a below-poverty-level income, yet most are smiling and fulfilled. You can be too. Remember, the dollar is dying, but Torah is as alive as it ever was. If you take my advice and seek Hashem, you'll soon taste a sweetness of life and a rejuvenation of your marriage that you never dreamed of. Best wishes for your success and blessings always, Lazer Brody

Amalek and Linda

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I really don't trust anyone - especially rabbis - but somehow I do trust you. I hope you can help me, especially since nobody else seems to be able to. I'm seventeen and I've been religious all my life - now all I want is to drop the whole religion business. Sure, I still believe in God - it's not like I think Torah isn't true - I just don't want it. Plain and simple. Leave me alone, I'll do what I want, who cares what will happen. So I won't be religious - oh well. But I didn't always think like that. Two years ago I would have thought whoever wrote the above was crazy. I used to love Judaism. Really. I wasn't just going with the flow and doing what I was taught - I loved it and believed in it with all my heart. I was probably more than just your typical religious girl. Now I hate religion and rituals with a passion. I'm almost crazed by this desire to be as bad as possible, to get as far away from the word "Jewish" as I can.

My parents are devastated, my school kicked me out and everyone is very angry with me (to put it plainly). All they can do is yell at me that I should change back to what I used to be, and ask me thousands of times over WHY DID U CHANGE!!!! Belive me, I have absolutely no desire to change. I don't want to be that religious goody-goody I used to be. And I tell them that - I just want OUT!!! So stop preaching at me about why being Jewish is so good - because I don't see it. At this point I don't even want to see it anymore. But their question of why did I change I have no answer for.

Maybe you'll just think I'm a complete idiot- like the rest of the world does- but I really hope you don't. I don't think I'm an idiot. I'm a smart person, I won't usually do things without a good reason- but this I really have no answer for. I don't know why I changed. I just know that it wasn't another person that changed me. It just happened gradually and I have no idea why. My parents and school will blame different people but I know inside that there is no one to blame besides me.(not that I am blaming myself- I'm happy I changed). Is there some reason that a person would change drastically for no apparent reason- that they themselves don't even know why? Yours, "Linda" from the USA

Dear Linda,

I certainly don't think that you're an idiot; on the contrary. I receive loads of letters every day, many of which are from young people in your age group. Your seriousness, depth of character, and intellectual honesty ranks among the top 10% of young people with whom I speak. I thank The Almighty that you had the tremendously good sense to write me before you cut loose on a wild weekend to be "as bad as possible". Be careful - too many vultures would pounce on such a delicate turtle dove as you, heaven forbid.

For the time being, I want to respectfully request from your teachers, your parents, and the entire religious community to please get off your back. G-d gives free choice, and no one has the right to take that away from you. Preaching never helps, only personal example. If your teachers and parents have failed, maybe it's because you don't want to be like them. Therefore, let them correct themselves before correcting you. I allow you to tell them that in my name.

Now, let's cut through the garbage and get down to the nitty gritty. Linda, Amalek is grabbing you by the neck. He's got nothing to offer but shortest term cheap thrills and longterm misery. I've been down just about any of the roads that you dream of traveling. I've back-packed the 4 corners of the world, been through party years at the University of Maryland, through plenty of blood-sweat-and-tear years in the Israeli Army, and through personal growth and rebirth years at Yeshiva and in my subsequent years as a rabbi and emotional counselor. True, there's plenty to learn in the outside world, such as dedication, commitment, etc. The problem is that you might get killed - morally, emotionally, or spiritually - while you're learning it. I'll be happy to show you that anything you'd like to learn is in the Torah. A king's daughter doesn't have to step in the manure of a cowshed to fetch a glass of milk. Besides, by throwing away the benevolent yoke of Torah and mitzvas, you won't gain freedom; you'll only become a slave to Amalek (who really runs the show in the USA; "Amalek" and "dollar" are the same gematria), social pressure, peer pressure, and your own evil inclinations. You'll do plenty of things that deep down are against your wishes - I don't call that freedom of spirit.

Your desire for change is the result of small but gradual and persistent doses of Hollywood, TV, trashy books and magazines that you've been peeking at, the web, and other anti-Torah mental junk food that's been penetrating your heart and brain like drops of spiritual toxins. Eventually, the toxins accumulate in your soul, and... All of a sudden, you've become enamored with the outside world - its speech, its dress, and its warped idea of love and sex, and the Judaism you once loved - by your own testimony - has lost its glamor.

You wake up one morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and say. "Hey, I'm a nurd! I want to be cool and foxy like Britney Spears!" Let me share a little secret with you - Britney and her friends are miserable. They're trying to be like the old Linda. One of Hollywood's most famous TV stars is a brutal, miserable alcoholic whose blown four marriages. How do I know? He came to me for counseling. If you don't believe me, I'll let you contact his agent who was the go-between. Madonna and her buddies are all looking for spirituality, but unfortunately, they're knocking on the wrong doors.

Linda, you ask the question, "Why have I changed? Who has changed me?" Here's a bombshell for your parents and teachers: Hashem is changing you. Hashem is using your bad decisions for your own good, because He loves you so much. He doesn't want you to be a shallow Jewish girl that discusses wigs and clothes styles all day long. Since you haven't developed a personal relationship with Hashem up until now, He wants you to do so by starting from scratch.

Hashem agrees that you should do what you want. But, when you really love someone, you want to do their will also. You can't love someone without a personal, intimate relationship. Hashem wants you to have such a relationship with Him. How? By talking to him in your own words for an hour a day.

For the time being, I don't care if you don't pick up a prayer book, just so long as you speak to Hashem every day. I want you to read The Garden of Emuna - it will teach you things that you never learned in Beis Yaakov.

Feel free to open up to Hashem - cry, laugh, and pour your heart out honestly, with no holds barred. Tell Hashem your innermost feelings. I do ask one thing from you: While you're making your spiritual search - which you have every right to do - don't do anything that you'll regret for the rest of your life. Continue keeping Shabbos, eating kosher, washing your hands in the morning, and dressing modestly. These four mitzvas will keep your brain clear and help you to find truth.

Linda, please remain in touch, and avoid arguments with people. May G-d bless you always and lead you on the path of truth and inner peace. With blessings always, LB

Moral Commando

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I am non-jew aka a Ben Noach and do my best to live according to the sheva mitzvosBnei Noach. Regardless, I will say that it is my fervent hope to convert one day, though I am fully aware that there is no obligation to do so. After graduating college I joined the US Army and I am currently part of a special operations unit in Iraq. This brings me to my question about war. What is the proper mindset according to Torah that one should have during war? Being in a special operations unit we do some sensitive operations, as I sure you have an idea, and on one hand I don't want to lose my aggressive edge that I am known for when I kick down a door, but I don't want to become a calloused individual who loses that ability to feel compassion and warmth. I am sure that you are familiar with the rough exterior that often comes with special operations unit guys and I a don't know exactly how to balance it. Do you have any insight on the matter? With appreciation, B

Dear B,

Thanks for your letter. Feel free to stay in contact with me. G-d willing, we'll be happy to send you spiritual care packages of books and CDs to Iraq. The Torah teaches us not to rejoice in the fall of our enemies, even though we have to do our job to subdue them. The Torah also teaches us to avoid being kind to the cruel or you'll end up being cruel to the kind. Focus on Hashem, ask Him to protect you and give you strength, then implement your training to the best of your ability. Yes, kick downthe door wherever there's a suspected terrorist behind it; don't give candies to the little kids in the street because they might have bomb-belts strapped to them. Be decent, but be aware. Don't forget that the enemy is cruel and fierce, with no sentiments for human life. Blessings and in your corner always, LB

* * * * *

After writing the above answer, we heard the bitter news of the Baghdad bombing. Emuna Outreach and Lazer Beams wishto convey our heartfelt condolences to the bereaved families and to all who mourn the fallen heroes that gave their lives to uproot terror and evil in the world.

Cool or Empty?

whatsup rabbi, i work at a non kosher deli and the mashigiach at the kosher one told me to look you up. so her i am and i got some questions for you. First of all I come from areligious background but due to my familys independence i went of the derech. I still lsiten to mostly jewish music in my car (even though im smoking) and i wear a thick jewish chain like a rap artist would wear. I like showing off my judaism but past that im a little off, i feel like im holding back because i want to experience more out of life befoe i become frum. I need some good advice. hit me up rebs (unsigned, from the Jersey Showboat)

Dear Jersey Showboat,

I usually edit people's spelling mistakes or typographical errors when I print their letters, but since yours is such a priceless gem, I'm leaving it untouched. You said you have questions for me, but you didn't ask a single one. So, let me try and help you ask what I think you want to ask:

1. Why do I feel such an emptiness, an unrest, and why is my neshoma (soul) giving me such a fit?
2. Why am I wasting my life trying to act cool? Is it to hide the emptiness?
3. What am I doing preparing ham and cheese sandwiches? Why do I go cruising around in my machine with the CD turned up full volume trying to impress the jailbait?

You're the one that said, "hit me up rebs"; you asked for advice, my man, and advice you're going to get. Micah the prophet said, "Be modest before the Lord thy G-d". Where in Torah does it say to wear a 3-lb. cast iron Star of David hanging from a bicycle chain around your neck? Where does it say you rev your engine at the stop light so you can take off in a screech when the light turns green, while some shabobnik singer's voice is reverberating from your quad speakers? Is that how you get your jollies, when all the 14 year-olds in the mini skirts look at you like you're cool? Chimpanzees in circuses also perform for the squealing crowds. Maybe that's what you mean when you wrote, "I'm holding back because I want to experience more out of life before I become frum (religious)" - what does that mean? Since you left the world of Torah and mitzvas (excuse me, I don't believe you were ever there), have you been learning Darwin's theory of evolution? Do you now believe that your alte zaidie was an ape? Are you trying to emulate him? Is that what you meant by getting more out of life, more than what's in the Torah?

You and I disagree on one point only - what you call "cool" I call "empty". Be honest with yourself, break away from your buddies for a moment, and think. Yes, think - that's why we have brains. Think where your life is going. Think why G-d chose to send your divine soul down to this earth.

Do you know why you wrote me, Showboat? You're neshoma feels like it's in jail. Even worse, it's lost, like a babe in the woods. Yeh, you have a cheap thrill every once in a while - here a girl, there a good movie or ballgame with a bottle o' beer - but that ain't where it's at. We both know that your life is like a plane in a holding pattern over Kennedy Airport - going around in circles and killing time, waiting for someone to give you permission to land. At least the aircraft knows its destination - you don't know yours.

A neshoma without Torah is like aircraft with no navigational instruments - at best, it flies to nowhere. At worst, it cracks up.

The last time I wrote a stiff letter like this to someone, he told me to shove it (but not so gently). Later, he thanked me for saving his life. Showboat, I only write letters like this to people I love. You asked for advice? Here ya go...

1) Get a new job, preferably one where you can learn a trade and have a future.
2) Chuck your old friends, the ones you hang out with doing nothing, together with the cigarettes and any other substances you fool around with. You're destroying your heart, lungs, and brain.
3) Start building your body with an hour of jogging and calisthenics every day.
4) I don't care if you don't go to shul, but put on tefillin every morning, and say shma and shmona esreh.
5) Cover your head - if not with a kippa, then with a Mets hat (if you're a Yankee fan, that's just as good).
6) Switch the heavy chains you wear for tzitzis (you can tuck them in if you like).
7) Establish your own personal relationship with G-d; talk to Him every day and tell Him everything that's on your heart - this is what Judaism is all about, clinging to G-d. Nobody asked for rote observance.
8) Start learning the Abridged Code of Jewish Law in English, 20 minutes per day.
9) Wash your hands first thing in the morning.
10) Eat Kosher food only. Remember, the food you eat becomes part of you (both body and soul).
11) Get a copy of "Rebbe Nachman's Wisdom" and "he Garden of Emuna"- you'll love learning both.
12) Observe the Sabbath - no cars, no weeds. Eat, sleep, take a long walk by the river, and talk to Hashem.
13) Find a rabbi you trust, and ask him all your future questions.

Showboat, if you do he above 13 steps, I will guarantee you not only happiness and fulfillment, but G-d willing, you'll have a good job, a good income, and very soon - a good wife. Think, it's either The Jersey Showboat going nowhere or a warm, sincere, serious and talented young Jew with a beautiful future. The choice is up to you. I believe in you though, and I think that the latter role fits you much better. With blessings always, Lazer Brody

Circumcision for a Mixed-marriage Baby

Dear Rabbi Lazer,
I'm Jewish and my wife is Japanese. We have enormous respect for each other and love each other immensely. Our first son was just born. My wife respects my wishes to have our son circumcised, and she even agrees for me to raise him as a Jew, although she is not interested in conversion. I don't want to do things in a watered-down way, as funny as it may seem to you, because even when I attend synagogue, I go to an orthodox place. Please tell me how to do this right in the context of these technically sticky circumstances. Thanks for your advice, The Golden Boy from Canada

Dear Golden Boy,

I'm proud of you; it's obvious that your wife is a special person too. Now here's exactly what you have to do:

Contact a local orthodox mohel (ordained circumcision specialist), and tell him that you need him to perform "mila leshaim gerus", or circumcision as preparation for conversion; then, after the bris (circumcision), get a letter signed by the mohel and by two orthodox witnesses that your son was circumcised "leshaim gerus". When and if the time comes that your son wants to become Jewish and to observe the commandments, such a letter will make the conversion process much easier.

Golden Boy, I hope you have a lot of joy from your son, and may he grow healthy in body, mind, and soul. By the way, the more of a model, kind, and considerate husband you are, the more your wife will respect your tradition. I don't care what anybody says to you, but I want you to keep a close personal relationship with Hashem. Talk to Hashem every day, and He'll open up all kinds of doors for you. I pray for your success. Yours always, Lazer

The Path to Inner Peace, Part 5

Today's segment is lively, showing how "Sammy" (the Samech-Mem, or Yetzer Hara) makes us crazy and ruins our inner peace.

Don't forget that you can hear a full-length Rav Shalom Arush-Lazer Brody CD in English on Breslev Beams Radio, every evening at 8 PM EST (3 AM Israel). If you haven't tuned in yet, give it a try. We feature non-stop toe-tapping Chassidic music with no commercials - just pure joy.

Happy Rosh Chodesh Adar Aleph. Let's get our joy in high gear.

The Path to Inner Peace - part 4

The Road to Inner Peace, part 3

Thank you for your really kind comments about "The Road to Inner Peace." Here's part 3:

Hear Lazer on Israel National Radio every Sunday:

Israel Time: 4:30 PM

EST: 9:30 AM

Hear a Rav Arush - Lazer Brody talk in English on Breslev Beams Radio, every night:

Israel Time: 3:00 AM

EST: 8:00 PM

Overcoming Same-sex Attraction

Dear Rabbi,

I am a 28 year old Jewish woman. I became a Baalat Teshuva 6 years ago after a trip to Israel, and 2 years ago, I met my husband, also a baal teshuva. He is truly a wonderful man, yet I struggle with my sexuality. Since I was younger I have felt that I would like to have a relationship with another woman. I have worked very hard on myself to overcome this struggle. I recently gave birth with my first child and have found that this issue has come back to haunt me full force. At times, I fear that I will never stop struggling and this pain of wondering if these thoughts will ever go away. Rabbi, please ,if you have any thoughts on this topic, please share them with me. Please do not judge me. I am trying my hardest to serve G-d with a full heart. I also love my husband deeply, I just feel my soul hurting so deeply over this issue. Please reply asap. Thank you, Lisa, USA

Shalom Lisa!

Thank you for your very courageous letter. Our sages teach us that sharing a problem with a rabbi is already half the solution. Here's why: Negative thoughts contaminate the soul. Rebbe Nachman of Breslev teaches that a lingering negative thought blocks out Hashem's Divine light. Therefore, when you tell your problem to a rabbi that you trust, you in effect release the pressure of the problem (the lingering negative thought) on your soul, and create an opening for divine light to reach you. By the way, I avoid judging people.

This time of the year is known as the "Shovevim", and it's a wonderful opportunity where every little effort in kedusha (striving for holiness) not only pays off big time, but gets extra help from Hashem. In that respect, your letter couldn't be more timely.

In my humble opinion, Here's what you need to do:

1. Talk to Hashem every single day in your own words, for no less than a half hour (preferably an hour), and spill your heart out to Him. Ask Hashem to help you overcome the lewd urges, which are nothing more than a stupid temptation fantasy from the "dark side". This strategy completely disarms the Yetzer Hora (evil inclination).

2. Avoid any secular media, movies, TV, and even newspapers, and immerse yourself totally in kedusha. Gobble up as many mussar seforim as you can.

3. Every day, say Psalms 16, 32, 41, 42, 59, 77, 90, 105, 137, and 150.

4. Think about Hashem and about your husband as much as you can.

5. Remember that the negative thoughts come from the Yetzer; the Yetzer is your enemy - he wants you dead in this world and in the next. This is no joke; life down here (yes, this world is the spiritual pits) is a war, and you have to fight to stay alive. The gays and the lesbians have quit fighting the spiritual battle to rescue their souls, and have utterly surrendered to the Yetzer; you have Torah and mitzvas - you can overcome!

6. The same way that you don't contemplate eating pork or cheeseburgers all day long, you don't have to think about other women. This will be difficult for you at first, because your entire mission on this earth could very well be to lick the battle with homosexual or other lewd tendencies. Every time you repel a negative thought, Hashem will shower on you an abundance of blessings, for only He knows how hard the battle is for you.

7. Double-check yourself that your appearance outside the house is super-modest, and don't try to attract anyone's attention except your husband's. For him, make yourself the most ravishing and appealing female in the world. If you don't get back triple dividends on your investment, write me again and we'll take it from there.

8. Pick up a copy of Outpouring of the Soul and of Rebbe Natan's "Likutei Tefillot" in English; you'll find many prayers that work wonders for the purity of your thoughts and to direct your energies in a spiritually fruitful direction.

9. Remember that on a spiritual plane, same-sex attraction is an "ahava nefula", or misplaced love. All of us are prone to misplaced loves whenever our love for Hashem is faulty or lacking. The more you enhance and enrich your love for Hashem, the more your same-sex attractions will simply disappear. I suggest strongly that you learn "Gate 10, The Gate of Love" at the end of "Chovos Halevavos" (Duties of the Heart).

10. Be very careful about ritually washing your hands as soon as you open your eyes in the morning ("negel vasser").

If you're careful about the above 10 steps, your problem will be a figment of the past within 40 days, G-d willing. May Hashem bless you and keep you and lead you down the right path. Yours always, LB