Lazer Beams

A cloud here and there

So many people crave comfort-zone lifestyles. Yet, you can't be a champion unless you break out of the comfort zone. In spirituality as well as in athletics, pain makes gain.

The difficulties in each of our lives are all from Hashem's lovingkindness, to help as grow and realize our potential. Without the challenges that force us to develop and mobilize our capabilities to the hilt, we'd all probably wallow in the muck and mire of mediocrity. Hashem wants us to be our best, so He sends a cloud here and there to block the sunlight and clear skies.

"Sunset", by Karen Moen

Sunsets would be boring without a few clouds. The clouds make the suns rays look spectacular.

The periodic difficulties in our lives only make Hashem's salvations look more spectacular. When you think about it, rising to a major challenge really does make life more beautiful.

Daughter of The King or Classroom Queen?

Dear Rabbi Lazer,

I'm 16, in the tenth grade, and very unhappy. My best girlfriend is really popular at school and shul (we're conservative), and I'm not. In all honesty, I'm just as attractive as she is, and my grades are just as good as hers. At first, I thought maybe my clothes were out of style, so i went out and begged my mom to buy be the same clothes as my girlfriend. But, at any party or function, people flock to her and I feel like a tagalong. Its really the pits. I do my best to talk and act like my girlfriend, but she's considered campus queen and I'm ignored. Rabbi, can you give me some kind of spiritual advice to make me popular too? I know you're busy with serious problems, but this is hurts me a lot, so please try to give me a quick answer. Respectfully, Melanie from Delaware

Dear Melanie,

Imagine that a tractor didn't like its own appearance, and tried to imitate a Mercedes. The whole world would laugh! Then, the tractor would neither perfom its function as a tractor - plowing fields, etc. - and certainly would fail miserably as a Mercedes. On the other hand, if a Mercedes tried to do the job of a tractor, it would get stuck in the mud and fail within a minute.

Melanie, The Almighty gave you your own very special package of abilities and aptitudes for performing your task in this world. When you try to be someone else, you have a double failure: First, you can't succeed in being the other person, because you lack the emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual tools that Hashem gave to that person. Second, when you attempt to be someone you're not, you fail to develop and to utilize your own unique Heaven-imbued attributes and skills.

The Talmud teaches that when a person seeks prestige, prestige eludes the person. Stop trying to be popular, and don't try to imitate your girlfriend. Be yourself: How? Act, speak, and dress in a manner that's natural and comfortable for you. Often, it's better to sit at home reading a good book, writing a poem or an entry to your diary, or baking a cake for Shabbos than it is hanging out with a bunch of peers just wasting time. Also, stop tagging along as your girlfriend's prime groupie. Accept the fact that she's classroom queen. You should start fulfilling your own role as a cherished daughter of the King (Hashem) - the daughter of The King beats the classroom queen any day of the week.

One additional important point: When high school boys flock around you, they're not looking to discuss European socioeconomics or the theory of relativity. Being popular with them is dead-end cheap popularity. Genuine popularity comes from being an upright human - compassionate, kind, charitable, modest, yet firm and courageous in your beliefs. The entire world respects such a bold nonconformist that stands up to his or her principles. Do you know why? Because Hashem respects such a person. When The Almighty is pleased with a person's actions, He grants that person a divine aura, an indescribable spiritual light that emanates from from the face and serves as a magnet to attract other people. Possessing such a divine aura is genuine popularity.

May Hashem help you make the right choices in life. Happy Chanuka and blessings always, LB

No More Anger - part 1

Many people are asking why I've been quiet on current events lately. Truthfully, I'm a lot less concerned with Achmedinejad, Assad, and Abu Mazen than I am with the dog-eat-dog way people treat one another. No enemy of Israel can harm a Jew until one Jew harms another. That's why we here at the Beams, thanks to our wonderful Emuna Outreach crew in Bet Shemesh, are devoting this week to uprooting anger. As soon as we do, our enemies will fall on their faces - wait and see. Enjoy the series and have a good week.

Influential speech

Speech without thought is like a body without a soul. A person who speaks without thinking utters empty words, and empty words don't have the power to cast a lasting impression on the listener's heart and brain. Therefore, if you want to influence others, it's a good idea to think before you speak.

The Yetzer (EI) tries to make us speak impulsively. Usually, the result of impulsiveness is remorse. When we allow our brains to filter the words that reach our lips, we don't make mistakes.

When someone asks you a question, you certainly have the right to pause for a moment, take a deep breath, contemplate your answer, and then say it. "I have to think about your question for a while," is always a legitimate answer.