I was chillin' on the couch and one of my kids took this picture when I had dozed off. I'm not amused by the little penguin on my nose. Kids have a strange sense of humor, don't they?
Chanukah is almost over and I feel as big as this elephant. I'm fed up with the donuts and fed up with my kids being home on break. Yesterday I took the kids to IKEA because it's an easy drive and less than half hour away. We all love going from section to section, pretending that we live in each living room and cook in those gorgeous kitchens. And of course, we love the food!
I'm still amazed that everything's kosher, because you can't believe how many restaurants in Israel are not! Very disappointing. But there's nothing better than those dairy-free ice cream cones! I don't know what they put in those things, but you can hold one for at least 45 minutes and not a drop will melt! It's a little freaky, if you ask me.
What makes matters worse is that I haven't been able to get to the gym most mornings. David wants me to stay home so he can go pray, and I be like, "Watchin' kids?! Ain't nobody got no time for that!" Go pray for me, tzaddik.
And of course, the house is a total disaster. Moms, don't you find that so frustrating? No matter how much we clean up, do dishes, laundry, and everything else, we can still look around the house and wonder how it's possible that nothing looks like it got done.
David doesn't understand why I complain to him, so I gave him this analogy (which he still didn't understand.) If he were to work all day long and all he had to show for it at the end of the day was a piece of paper with scribble scrabble, wouldn't that make him a little bit upset? I mean, just a tiny bit??
Getting back to IKEA. I have a big yetzer when I go there, and it's called "candles." I'm crazy for their candles! I love it when the house smells like pumpkin pie (their latest flavor!) or apple. It's almost like I'm eating the smell. If only that would actually work. If they had jelly donut-smelling candles, I'd fill my entire house with them and people would think I'm in the middle of an exorcism.
And I would say YES! I am! I'm trying to rid myself of the evil spirit of the jelly donut! It has possessed me and taken over my life, and now I've turned into a big giant slobbering elephant named Elefantee. The accent's on the last syllable, as I explained to David. It's not El-e-fan-te, which is the way you say it in Spanish. It's El-e-fan-tayyyy.
BUT! I have GREAT NEWS!!
I finally got my car back!!
And just in time! I couldn't even fit into my mechanic's tiny wind-up car anymore. I mean, did you see my picture above? How is a mama elephant supposed to drive a small car? She needs a high roof! She needs some leg room! She needs some chocolate and a new pair of shoes, AMEN!!
Here's what makes getting my car back even more amazing: I'm a little slow sometimes, and only a few days ago I realized that I wouldn't be able to take the kids on an outing because we don't all fit in the Flintstone-mobile. Hashem knew that if I were to be stuck at home with five kids for the entire break, I'd go insane. So He made sure that my car would be ready for me exactly when I needed it. (Plus I think He realized that if I got any heavier the mechanic's car's suspension would collapse under my weight.)
Oh, and you want to hear something crazy? The mechanic gave me my car back with zero gas. I mean ZERO. The gas light was on and I was actually worried if I would make it to my beloved gas station. Luckily I did. I filled up the tank and was just about to close the side door, when I saw, right in front of my eyes, the other key to my car!
The guy who washed the car forgot that he had put it on the roof. But seriously, what a dumb place to put a key. It's a real live Chanukah miracle that the key didn't fly off as I was driving.
It's amazing that if our spiritual eyes are open, we can see how much Hashem is taking care of us. So don't sweat it. Your prayers will be answered, exactly when Hashem decides it's the right time. So do your best not to stresst. Do your best not to stresst. C'mon, say it with me! DO YOUR BESSST, NOT TO STRESSST.
OMMMMMGGGGGG!! Hashem just gave me the BEST idea!!
I'm going to celebrate the end of Chanukah and donuts and school break with...
Have an extra special last day of Chanukah!