Lazer Beams

Napolean in the Mikva

My beloved teacher Rabbi Shalom Arush, may Hashem bless him always, told me the following joke:

Napolean, during his conquest of the East, arrived in the Land of Israel. He asked his intelligence officer the best way to glean information about the locals. “If you want to know what’s going on inside the Jewish community,” said the intel officer, “go to the men’s mikva; you can hear all the news there.” Napolean heeded this very sound piece of advice – an outstanding morsel of intelligence in itself – dressed up like a Jew and went to the men’s mikva the following morning. He overheard the following conversation between two Jews there:

“What’s the good news, Avraham?”

“Everybody’s saying that Napolean is somewhere in the mikva!”

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A society’s humor truly reflects that society’s image. Rebbe Nachman of Breslev teaches in his famous tale “The Modest King” that we learn about the people of a given nation by listening to their humor. In that light, there’s more than a grain of truth in the Napolean joke. Even though on should refrain from talking in the mikva – undress, immerse, dress, and leave as quickly and as modestly as possible – every mikva has its notorious parliamentarians.

I was dressing one morning in the mikva when I overheard the following conversation between two married Talmudic students:

Continue reading News in the Mikva in this week's Breslev Israel web magazine.

What's easier - being rich or poor? See Fast Money by Rabbi Shalom Arush.

This week's Torah portion is Matot/Massaei with a special message for women entitled The Need to Protect. Also from this week's portion, Rebbe Natan of Breslev discusses Vows and The Power of Speech.

Pray Away is about a young woman's journey from London Yuppie to Emuna-energized Israeli.

The Melitzer Rebbetzen talks about gratitude in Appreciating the Basics.

Breslev Israel is proud to host celebrated children's author Bracha Goetz this week on Breslev Kids, with her rendition of a Maharam parable, The Three-foot Spoons.

Oded Mizrachi is one of Israel's best true-story tellers. Light at the End of the Cave is a hair-raiser.

Do not Murder is part 4 of our series on the Seven Noahide Commandments. 

Here's wishing you a wonderful week from Breslev Israel and the Beams.

Chanuka, 2008: The Struggle against Hellenism

An old Breslever saying says that when one lights Chanuka candles and believes that the miracle of Chanuka only took place once upon a time in history without believing that it's still taking place this very minute, then he isn't properly fulfilling the mitzva.

The Maccabees not only fought against the Greeks, but fought against the assimilationist Jews, then known as Hellenists. The Maccabees, from the Hasmonean family of Cohanim (priests), were virtually the only loyal, steadfast Torah-observant Jews of their time. The Greek occupation of Israel was very benevolent on a physical basis. The Greeks encouraged Jewish participation in all their institutions - athletics, academic, and political. They only outlawed three "tiny" mitzvas - Shabbat, circumcision, and the lunar calendar. Very clever - no Shabbat means no emuna that Hashem created the world. No circumcision means no covenant of holiness and no Jewish identity. No lunar calendar means no Jewish holidays. All three prohibitions meant the death of Judaism, G-d forbid.

99% of the populace assimilated back then. Only the Maccabees and their tiny band of followers remained loyal to Hashem and His Torah.

According to Rebbe Natan of Breslev (see Likutei Halachot, Chanuka, Halacha 2.1), an evil regime is that which attempts to terminate our Divine service and Torah learning. Anyone who harbors a  design to kill Jews certainly qualifies as evil, since a dead person can't serve Hashem or learn Torah. Yet, there's no difference between the Hellenists of today - those who lead what they proudly call "the secular revolution" in Israel, whether it be the media, a political party, or whoever else - and the Hellenists of yesteryear. Both did and do everything in their power to spread hate, especially against Torah-observant Jews, the Torah, and the holy Yeshivot.

Rebbe Natan says that the only way to defeat such evil is through a connection with a powerful tzaddik that has the power of holiness to defeat evil. Our connection to Rebbe Nachman gives us that power.

Today, we don't fight against evil with spears. We use the light of the tzaddik, which we put in suitable vessels like Emuna CDs, The Garden of Emuna or The Trail to Tranquility. Rather than killing evil, we convert the evil to holiness. That's how we intend to bring Moshiach. It doesn't matter who gets elected in Israel, because ultimately, Livni, Barak, and Bibi will all do teshuva. A little flicker of Rebbe Nachman's light defeats tons of Hellenistic darkness.

G-d willing, 5 new Emuna CDs will be released tomorrow, with big news of an Emuna Outreach special sale

A Message to Mr. Bush: Don't Touch My Anointed

Mr. Bush is on his way from the White House to the Holy Land of Israel this week. We here at the Beams have a 2-minute highly educational message for him. I hope he sees it, for the future of his nation depends on it. See for yourself:

The Story of Chana Maccabee

Tamar Yonah from Israel National Radio asked me to check out the authenticity of the following Midrash, a real eye-opener that describes the outbreak of the Hasmonian Rebellion and the marriage of Channa, daughter of Mattatyahu the High Priest (Cohen Gadol):

As part of their campaign to break the spirit of the Jews, the Greeks decreed that every maiden must spend her wedding night in the bed of the regional governor, and that only afterward would she be permitted to her husband. As a result of this decree, the Jews stopped marrying. For three years and three months, no wedding was held in Judea. Then it came time for Channa, daughter of Mattityahu the Hasmonean to marry. In spite of the decree, Mattityahu held a great celebration, inviting the leaders of the nation, for Mattatyahu's family was extremely prominent. The bride sat, as was customary, at the head table, but suddenly stood up, clapped her hands together, and tore her expensive wedding dress, exposing herself. Everyone looked away in embarrassment, and her brothers ran to fall upon her and kill her for shaming herself and her family.

But Channa said to them, "Why, when I shame myself before my relatives and friends are you so filled with embarrassment and anger that you wish to kill me, but you agree to surrender me this night so the heathen governor can lie with me? Why do you not learn from Simon and Levy, sons of our forefather Jacob, who avenged the rape of their sister Dinah (in Genesis, chapter 34)?"

Everyone realized that Channa was right; her brothers discussed the matter and came to a decision. They dressed their sister in the finest garments and brought her with great ceremony, at the head of a large procession, to the King. Channa's brothers declared, "We are the sons of the High Priest, and it is not fitting that our sister be given to the governor. Our sister is fit only for the King himself!" The brothers' words found favor in the King's eyes.

The Maccabbee brothers - Yehuda, Yochanan, Yonatan, Shimon, and Eliezer - accompanied Channa to the royal bed chamber, and thereupon, seized the King and killed him. Afterward, they stormed out killing ministers, guards, and servants, who were in the palace. And Hashem delivered the enemy into their hands. At that time, a voice [bat kol] was heard in the Holy of Holies that said, "The lambs [Israel] are victorious in Antioch [Greek HQ in ancient Israel]".

* * * * *

The original in Hebrew appears here on the website of Rav Yosef Shuvali's Yeshivat Tikkun Hamidot, a superb Breslever Yeshiva for baalei teshuva in the Haifa area. The Midrash appears in Part One of Midrash Otzar Tov and in Part 5 of Midrash Bet HaMidrash. This certainly appears to be the real deal.

If they had any brains, Hollywood screenwriters would be studying our Midrash.

Don't Leave us Hanging! (Testimony for Generations, part 2)

Dear Rabbi Lazer,

The Rabbi Amnon Yitzchak clip from yesterday was awesome, but it left us all hanging right in the middleof the action. Isn't there a continuation of that lecture? Thanks so much, Eva from Miami

Dear Eva (and others who wrote similar emails),

With Hashem's help, we found a follow-up clip. Enjoy it! Blessings and thanks for writing, LB

The Mass Graves of Yanov

With Hashem's loving grace, my wife, my daughter, and I are safely home in Ashdod after a meaningful, tremendously satisfying, and exhausting trip to the Ukraine, which included 1500 kilometers on the road within the Ukraine.

Tuesday, 3 July is the 17th day of Tammuz, an infamous day of calamity in the Jewish calendar that signifies the beginning of the 3-week period that culminates on Tisha B'Av, the notorious day when both Holy Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed. It's no small coincidence that last year's tragic Lebanon War also began on the 17th of Tammuz.

One of the purposes of my trip was attend to the upkeep of the old Jewish cemetary in Yanov, where many of my ancestors are buried. Yanov is a small town, or "shtetyl", that was established in the year 1552, located halfway between Breslov and Berditchev in the central Ukraine. A few famous tzaddikim hail from Yanov, as well as my father's family. About 8 years ago, I began a campaign to save the Jewish cemetary there; two-thirds of it had already become squash and potato fields, ripped off by the locals. With Hashem's help, we succeeded in saving what was left.

In addition, we also established a monument on 2 mass graves from the holocaust.

One of the mass graves, within the bounds of the Yanov cemetary, contains the remains of Yanov's 1,000 Jews. The other mass grave, on the outskirts of town near the railroad crossing, contains the remains of 2,500 Jews that were being deported from other towns. The Nazis stopped the train, let the Jews dig an enormous pit (their own graves), and then shot them all.

Foreground, Yanov train crossing. Background, within the white masonry walls, is a giant mass grave where 2500 Jews dug a huge pit before being shot in the head by the Nazis.

The Nazis could have never completed their task without the cooperation of the locals. To this day, antisemitism is deeply rooted in the hearts of the Ukrainians.

A closer view of the mass pit area. The Ukrainian government tried to steal the show by erecting elaborate monuments of their own, which say in Russian, "Here lie Ukrainian victims of Fascist terror, 1942", with no mention of Jews at all. The Ukrainians are also responsible for the wreaths. Orthodox Jews do not put flowers or wreaths on graves.

The ugliest phenomenon I know is intramural Jewish hate. So many Jews allow themselves the luxury of hating other Jews that don't look and think like they do. I'd like to organize a trip for the haters to come see the mass graves of Jews in the Ukraine; maybe after seeing what other nations did (and still want to do) to us, our misguided brothers and sisters won't allow themselves the luxury of hating each other.

The bad news is that as long as there's no Jewish unity, we can expect many more years of 17 Tammuz and Tisha B'Av headaches. The good news is that if we start acting like loving brothers and sisters to each other, 17 Tammuz and 9 Av will become happy festivals, celebrated in the courtyard of our rebuilt Holy Temple in Jerusalem, amen.

Melitzer Sheva Brachot

In the Orthodox Jewish world, the 5 and a half weeks between Shavuot and the middle of Tamuz is wedding season. A Jewish wedding is followed by 7 days of festivity, the shiva yamei mishte. Each individual day's festive meal is known as sheva brachot, literally "7 blessings." You are cordially invited to join us at a sheva brachot celebration at the Melitzer Synagogue in Ashdod: the kalla (bride) is the grandaughter of the Rachmastrivker Rebbe of Jerusalem, and the chosson is the grandson of the Melitzer Rebbe of Ashdod and the Machanivka Rebbe of Bnai Brak. Enjoy!

29 Iyar: A Special Day to Pray for our Children

Before our shiur in Bat Ayin this past Tuesday night, I visited with the lovely family of my cherished friend, Rav Erez Levanon of sacred memory, HY"D. Pictured with me are his three gorgeous children, from left: Tzohar Shmuel, Levona Chana, and Eder Yosef Chaim, may Hashem bless them and keep them.

Today (Thursday) is the 29th of Iyar according to the Hebrew calendar. Jewish tradition teaches that today is an opportune time to pray that our children grow up in health of body, mind, and soul. The best known prayer that our people have been using for hundreds of years is "A Parent's Prayer" composed by the holy Shl"a, a 17th Century Scholar and Kabbalist who is buried near the Rambam in Tiberias. As a service to our readers, Artscroll.com sent us a PDF with the prayer in Hebrew and English, which you can see here.

We've often said that the most important part of raising happy and successful children is praying for them. The 5 minutes that you take to say the Shl"a's prayer will be one of the best investments you ever made.

G-d willing, there's plenty of good news on the way from Emuna Outreach, including 4 exciting new CDs and a big surprise that many people have been waiting for. See Friday's Beams for details...

Little Rebbes and First Haircuts

These two irresistable images are my favorites from Meron on Sunday.

Image 1: Thirsty little Rebbe (It was a scorcher on Lag B'Omer - high 90's)

Image 2: The Little Rebbe's new payis (sidelocks)

Lag B'Omer in Meron, 5767 (2007)

Ride the wind on the outspread wings of our Emuna Outreach dove, and join us in Mount Meron at the holy gravesite of Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai for a 3-minute taste of Lag B'omer, 5767 (2007), with over 500,000 celebrating. Enjoy!