71 posts categorized "Jewish World"

The Eternal Promise


Sigh... Isn't that a gorgeous picture? By now, many of you may be aware of my cruise obsession. To me, cruising is a fantastic way to visit many places in one trip, and the best part is that you can eat until you explode. Between you and me, I'm still holding on to this romantic fantasy of cruising in five-star style around the world, visiting all of the beautiful and exciting places on this gorgeous planet of ours. However, I bet you didn't know this little story that I'm about to tell you.

Once upon a time, about 15 years ago, David made a promise. He promised me that he would take me on a romantic luxury cruise. Of course, it never happened. Actually, it wasn't really even a romantic promise. We had a bet over the stupidest thing ever. We were in the car on Collins Avenue in North Miami Beach, and I told him there was a "no U turn" sign at the intersection where he wanted to turn. He insisted that there was, even though the sign was facing oncoming traffic, and you couldn't see what it said from where we were. Being that I've lived in Miami since the day I was born, I figured that I would win this bet, and sure enough, I did. Actually, I could see the back of the sign, so I knew for sure that I was right, but of course I didn't tell him. Mr. Oblivious was, and still is, a terrible driver. Terrible. He doesn't even look left when he enters the traffic circles! I yell at him every time, but it doesn't seem to help. 

Being that he made this promise about 15 years ago, and we ain't goin' on no cruise for a looooong time, I'm calling it the Eternal Promise. One day, G-d willing, I'll get my fancy luxury cruise. Maybe I'll reserve the Presidential Suite now for the year 2036. In kabbalistic terms we call that "building our vessels." See, if you want Hashem to bless you with something, you've got to do something to create a spiritual vessel to receive it. So that's what I'm doing. 

I heard there were some really gorgeous kosher European cruises through the famous rivers. Have any of you been on an awesome kosher cruise? Please tell me! I've got to start doing my research, because I only have 19 years left to figure it out! It is 2017, right?

Speaking of long-term promises, Rav Shalom Arush writes that our very own beloved Rebbe Nachman gave all of us a promise that sounds too good to be true. Actually, it's not too good to be true, or it wouldn't be true - right? Am I making sense? Did I write it backward? I'm tired and not thinking straight because my little boyfriend woke up in the middle of the night after I went to sleep too late, and he insisted that I make his milky, to which I adamantly refused because I couldn't stand up straight. Once David brought him the milky, he started freaking out because his Slave Girl didn't do it. I really am his Slave Girl. Maybe I'll make myself a cool logo. SG. Sounds hip. Any of you a graphic designer? Make me one and I'll create a post around it. That would be so awesome!

Back to Rebbe Nachman's Eternal Promise. What is it? I'll give you a hint... Rebbe Nachman promises that if you devote an hour a day to personal prayer, even if you don't say anything, you will win... A NEW CARRRRRR!!! Okay, so the prize is even better. What's that? You want me to tell you what the prize is? C'mon, I'm not going to spoil it for you!

Speaking of promises, Rav Brody's got an amazing promise for parents who commit to spending more quality time with their children, especially if that quality time involves learning Torah together. He's got a few incredible and true stories about The Big Payoff that parents have experienced after they started learning with their children, even if it meant sacrificing time from work. Speaking of big payoffs, I'm still waiting for David to get his so he can take me on our 50th anniversary cruise in 2053.

You know what? I have a promise for you, too! I promise that if you read my article, you'll get a whole new understanding of abusive relationships. A lady asked me a very important and perplexing question: "If Hashem let me marry him, it must mean I’m supposed to stay married to him. So why is Hashem letting him treat me this way??" Don't miss my perplexing answer in Enough! 

If you want to know the truth, most of us married folk have no idea what we're doing. Be honest! I think that most of us are just immature overgrown kids Growing Up Together with our spouses. At least, that's what my husband is. I'm perfect. Really. I insist. Don't miss Rebbetzin Yehudit Channen's mature article about immature people! And, don't forget - if you need some guidance with your marriage or anything else in your life, make an appointment with Rebbetzin Channen at once! Contact Aharon at staff@breslev.co.il.

If you like firey Torah, don't miss Rabbi Avigdor Miller's powerful article, Don't Question Hashem. 

It's official - I'm a genius! Just by looking at the title of the next article, Pro-Palestine Jews, I knew it was written by Dovber HaLevy! Ooh, and it's a good one, too! But for some reason, I felt like saying, "Yo' mama!" at the end of it. I'm not really sure why.

Here's a profound question: is there something beyond happiness? How can you be beyond happy? Does that mean you're ecstatic? Isn't ecstatic an extension of happiness? Does your brain hurt? Don't worry! Dr. Zev Ballen gives us all the answers in Beyond Happiness. And don't forget - Dr. Ballen is the ONLY therapist in the world that was hand-picked by Rav Arush to combine his years of experience in traditional therapy with emuna. What he can help you do would take months with a regular therapist! Why? Read about Emuna Therapy and then you'll understand. You can also schedule an appointment with him via Aharon at staff@breslev.co.il. 

This next story about The Miracle Car  by H.K. Shulkin made me cry. I'm serious! I had tears running down my cheeks! Maybe they're really tears of tiredness. I'm exhausted! Anyhow, this story is truly unbelievable, except that it's true! Read it! OMG, I just realized that I wrote about a NEW CARRRR, and now I just read this story about a NEW CARRRR!! Genius and psychic?! What a combination!!

Have a fantastic day!


Happy Israeli "Al Ha-esh" Day!

Hey everyone! It's Rav Brody and The Person Formerly Known as Zumba Queen (at least, until I get back to the gym tomorrow) wishing you a happy Israeli Independence Day! 

Today is the 69th anniversary of the founding of the State of Israel, and do you know what that means? It means that I am supremely lazy because I not only did a Google search to find out how many years have passed since 1948, but I did it by talking into the Google mic. It also means that nearly every Israeli is celebrating their independence by eating burnt, carcinogenic, nitrite-filled, hormoned and drugged up, greasy, MSG-laced, G-d-knows-what's-in-those-kebabs, "food." Now that's what I call national pride! Bring on the Atkins-fest!

In Israeli slang, "al ha-esh" literally means "on the fire," which is a pretty accurate way to say "barbecue." I'm not even sure what the word barbecue means, and I'm too lazy to look it up. Al Ha-esh day is so much like American Independence Day. You know, I'm starting to think that Israelis are a bunch of wanna-be American posers. Could it be?? (Note the heavy sarcasm there.) Hmmm. The post office is closed. Everyone has a day off. The beaches are crowded with half-naked people that have no business walking around half-naked. The air is hazy with grill smoke. Fireworks are blasting off when you're trying to sleep. People are working on perfecting their beer belly physiques.

But, there's one thing we don't have here - football! We have soccer. Correction - we have football, and you American wannabe Israeli posers out there have American football. You get the difference? BTW, did you know that the Hebrew word for football is foooootball? You have to pronounce the "oo" like the way you say "soup." Foutball. 

In honor of Israel Independence Day, the Beams presents you with a special quiz. The person who sends us the most accurate answer will receive a special prize, courtesy of the Beams and Breslev Israel. Send us your answer by commenting at the bottom of this post.

Quiz1 Quiz2At each side of this post are rare photos of two former IDF combat soldiers. 1. Who are they? 2. What year was each photo taken? 3. What is your credit card number?

Just thought I'd sneak it in there. You know, to see if any of you are paying attention.

The deadline for your answers is 12:01 AM, Wednesday May 3, 2017 Israel time (5:01 PM Tuesday, EDT). Don't miss tomorrow's Beams to find out the right answers and the name of the quiz winner. Good luck and Happy Independence Day!

Smartphone Blind

My dear friend and Emuna Therapist Rebbetzin Yehudit Channen shared this video with me. It took me three times of watching this video to understand what was going on. In the end, I finally got it and laughed at my own stupidity and the humor of the video. While certainly funny, it's also painfully true. We've become so addicted to our phones that we can't even walk down the street without staring into it and typing. 

Even in the elevator nearly everyone I see is checking their phones. What exactly are they checking for? Do they need to be plugged in to the virtual world at every moment? What about connecting with the real world that they're actually a real part of?

Thank G-d we have Shabbat, a chance to disconnect from the social media time-sucker. We can focus on connecting with real people and developing real relationships instead of virtual ones. This Shabbat, weather permitting, go for a nice walk outside. Focus on the beautiful trees. Listen to the birds if they haven't flown South. Look at the gorgeous blue or grey sky. Enjoy breathing in the fresh or polluted air.

In other words, be present.

Shabbat Shalom! For something great to discuss with the family at the Shabbat table, see Rav Brody's mini-lesson on this week's Torah portion in the post directly below. With big smiles,


The Shmirat Eynayim Torah Scroll

Shmiras Eynayim Sefer Torah
I love this: some special people in Far Rockaway are getting together to write a special Torah scroll. You can offer them the whole sum, which at today's prices could be anywhere between $35,000 to $70,000 for an Ashkenzi Torah scroll, depending on the scribe's reputation and quality of his writing, but they won't take it. They only accept donations of $1 a time, which you can donate every time you successfully weathered a challenge in guarding your eyes (shmirat eynayim). So, if you were tempted twenty times today and succeeded in guarding your eyes, the Far Rockaway group will happily accept your donation of $20. That will be some magnificent Sefer Torah!

Tip of the kippa to Rabbi Chaim Feld of Cleveland for sharing this with us

We R 1

We may not all look the same, live in the same place or engage in the same level of religious observance, but deep down inside, the Jewish nation shares a common bond that unites us, that transcends distance and breaks boundaries. WeR1 shatters the differences that divide us, focusing on the unshakeable connection shared by members of the Jewish nation all across the globe.

“So many choose to focus on what sets people apart, but the truth is that our commonalities are far greater than our differences,” observed director Daniel Finkelman.

WeR1 follows the story of two characters who could be every man or every woman. Located in Israel and New York each leads a vastly different life, yet feels an inexorable pull that drives them ever higher, an unidentified longing for something indefinable but exalted. Set against a backdrop of music performed by Israeli superstar Gad Elbaz, Australian singer songwriter DeScribe, American rapper (my spiritual son) Nissim, French singer Israel Alliel, and British performer Refael Mirila, WeR1 is journey to the highest heights, attainable only through unity.

Bringing together a significant talent pool that includes film production by Daniel Finkelman and Elan Cohen, and music and lyrics by Los Angeles platinum songwriter and producer DK Benjamin, WeR1 is an inspiring musical triumph that takes viewers on a journey from London to Lyon to Tel Aviv and New York. Filling the heart and warming the soul, WeR1, a project of Kesher Yehudi - an organization which bridges the gap between secular and religious Jews - is a reminder to us all that now, as always, we are truly one nation with one heart. I'm sure you'll enjoy this:

A Magical Mikva

Jherin's Mikva

Image, above: the brand new Jherin Esther Mikva (women's side) in Deal, NJ.

Here is great news for women in the USA who don't have children:

All mikvas are special, but this one is magical:

The brand new Jherin Esther Gorcey Mikva is now open in Deal, New Jersey. It's unbelievably gorgeous.

Woman from all over the USA are coming there and seeing miracles. Jherin, of blessed memory, brought so many souls closer to Hashem in her 16 tender years on earth. Now that she's free from bodily limitations, she continues to do wonders for people.

Recently, when I was in Deal visiting Jherin's parents Dr. Steve and Rachel Gorcey, may Hashem bless them, I had the privilege of immersing in the men's mikva there - no words can describe what I felt. When I came out of the mikva, I said to Rachel Gorcey, "I'll bet women will see miracles after immersing in this mikva.

Rachel responded, "They already are!"

It's worth the trip to New Jersey. If you'd like to make an appointment to immerse in the Jherin Esther Gorcey mikva, please call 732-222-1278. May Hashem bless you soon with the joy of parenthood, amen!

The Emuna Tattoo

My cherished and esteemed friend Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein from New York City is probably America's #1 rabbi for saving kids that have gone haywire and bringing them back into the fold. He's also one of America's best rabbinical speakers. In the clip below, he's telling a true story he heard from me. You'll love this - enjoy, and have a great new week!