No, that's not a very pretty picture, but wiping the floor with the person you stood under the chuppa with isn't pretty either.
In marriage, there's no middle-of-the-road: it's either hand-in-hand or hand-to-hand.
The Zohar tells us that a couple is two halves of one whole. Do you realize what that means? If you consider your spouse a rag, then you're you're no better than a mop. But if your spouse is a queen, then you are a king (and vice versa).
It pays to treat our partner-in-life like royalty, for that's what they really are. Take the first unilateral step, and see what you get back, but give in order to give, without expectations of receiving. It works - be patient and you'll see.