Lazer Beams

Weekend Beams: High-level Anger

Left, Fire-spittin' "Mammy Yokum" from the Li'l Abner comics by Al Capp

Old Mrs. Broigges

a story reprinted from Chapter One of The Trail to Tranquility

Old Mrs. "Broigges" (Yiddish term for extremely angry) asked her oldest son to approach her sickbed. "Jacob, run fetch the Rabbi; don't delay!"

The Rabbi arrived immediately. "Mrs. Broigges," he whispered gently in her ear, "In order to assure your place in the World to Come, you must confess your sins and make peace with your fellow man before you leave this world."

"Yes, Rabbi," the old woman nodded. "I want to make amends. For the last forty years, I've been feuding with Yenta Grossman. Please summon her so I can beg her forgiveness."

The Rabbi sent his understudy to summon Mrs. Grossman as fast as possible. Within fifteen minutes, she joined the others by the dying Mrs. Broigges's bedside.

Mrs. Broigges opened her glossy eyes, and focused on Yenta Grossman. She extended two frail bony hands, and said, "Yenta darling, I'm so sorry for the years of hate and anger. I want to beg your forgiveness. Come closer, dear, so I can kiss your before I leave this earth."

There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Obviously moved, Yenta Grossman leaned tenderly toward Mrs. Broigges, to kiss her on the lips. All of a sudden…

"Yahowwwwwwwwwiiiiiii". Yenta released the most blood-curdling scream you ever heard. Blood splattered all over the room. Just as she was about to kiss Mrs. Broigges, the sly old warhorse clamped her teeth around Yenta's nose with the ferocity of an irate lioness. Yenta Grossman's nose was nearly severed from her face.

"Now, I can die peacefully," sighed Mrs. Broigges, closing her eyes for the last time, with an ear-to-ear grin on her face.

Don't think that the story is far-fetched. Angry people are willing to sacrifice an eternity of bliss for one bittersweet moment of revenge.

More Emuna smilin' atcha from Down South

The Gemorra teaches us that when scholars are jealous of each other's, wisdom increases. Yesterday's mailbox here at the Beams was dominated by our good friends from the good 'ol Peach-Tree State of Georgia. Roslyn resents all the attention we've been giving to next-door neighbor Alabama. Folks tell me that my buddy Rabbi Chaim Kassorla is spreading the fires of emuna all  over Atlanta. Jennie and her husband JR tell me that there's a whole Noahide underground grapevine. Alabama and Georgia are becoming the nucleus of a growing emuna belt; this is exciting.

I'd like to share with you one of the reasons I sing and dance all day long - I get to read letters like this from Margie Jackson, formerly from Memphis and now in Atlanta with husband Tom who got kicked upstairs in a much better-paying job in corporate HQ. Margie and JT were married for fifteen years when the doctors told them that a snowball in Sinai had a better chance of surviving than they had of becoming parents. A little over two years ago, they become Noahides. After they read The Trail to Tranquility, they got hooked on personal prayer. To make a long story short, little JT Junior - the spittin' image of his Dad (former running back from Texas A&M) is now a bouncy baby bruiser that just celebrated his 1st birthday this past Thanksgiving. Here's what Margie writes:

Dear Rabbi Lazer,

I wanted to share with you something that happened the other day.  I was in the supermarket going for the salad bar and greeted the guy who was restocking it.  He said, "You seem like a happy person."  I said, "Oh, well I'm generally a pretty happy person, for sure."  He said, "You just seem like one of those people who has a smile for everyone, like you've got a wordly smile.  Yeah that's it.  You've got a worldly smile." 

Isn't that the nicest thing you've ever heard?  Not a crazy manic smile.  Not a clownish smile, but a calm, relaxed, at peace kind of smile.  A little over two years ago I thought pretty much daily about killing someone.  (You know what I mean.  Not just anyone.)  I couldn't relax, pretty much ever, which is a tortured existence.  I had a terrible time trusting people and making friends.  I could go on and on.  After taking your advice and praying and learning tons and tons of Torah, I'm so happy that total strangers are picking up on it within a few seconds.  Pat yourself on the back, favorite rabbi!!  It's all in TTTT. 

JT says that it's pretty funny that the favorite person of a former Southern Baptist jock from Texas is a chassidic rabbi! He says if you make it to Georgia, he'll put a quarterhorse at your disposal. You could be the circuit-riding rabbi in these parts. I'd love to see the expression on people's faces when they see you in your trappings riding down Peach Tree Road. (I'm just trying to put a smile on your face after you've put hundreds on ours).

Always, Margie and the boys

Texas and Oklahoma, isn't high time you stood up to be counted for Hashem too? We have a great grapevine in those two states, because that's where the bulk of our Cherokee friends live. When Moshiach comes, the Cherokees will no doubt have their own great eagle, piloted by Colonel Tom, Grandmother White Eagle's retired Navy Top-Gun husband. Apropo the emuna revolution, Grandmother White Eagle gave copies of The Trail to Tranquility to both US Senators from Texas on her last trip to Washington, DC.

Maybe you're upset by all the darkness and foreboding in the world. Don't forget that emuna is spreading like wildfire. People from all over the place are searching for truth and for something real to quench their spiritual thirst. Don't let Achmedinejad worry you - Moshiach will kick his you-know-what. A little light of emuna can chase away a lot of darkness. Wait and see.

The Heavenly Limelight

During one of my lectures, a person once asked me if the fires of purgatory are for real. I answered with the following allegorical dramatization:

Imagine that your life in this world terminates, and you're carried up to a heavenly lecture hall. You are seated alone on center stage in the limelight, while thousands of eyes are watching you. Suddenly, the lights are switched off, and a projector illuminates a gigantic video screen behind you. Together with the thousands of observers, you turn around and see a movie about…you!

You recognize your parents, your house, your school, and your hometown. All of a sudden, the pictures become unfamiliar…

A narrator with a warm, rich, loving voice that makes your skin tingle begins to explain the scenes on the screen. You see yourself receiving a Presidential medal of honor for discovering a cure for cancer. Maybe you see yourself as the first special education teacher in the world to teach trigonometry to children with Downe's Syndrome. Or maybe you're leading your national gymnastics team to an Olympic gold medal. A different image might portray you as a benefactor signing a check to build an old-age home for penniless senior citizens.

The film is over. A bright spotlight shines on you. The voice returns, reverberating through loudspeakers in every corner of the lecture hall, and says, "That my son or daughter, is what you were destined to do with your life. Instead, you spent your time in idleness. You squandered your money on foolish short-term thrills. You wasted your razor-sharp mind sitting in front of a television and gossiping on the telephone. You never took stock in yourself. You neither discovered your outstanding qualities nor did you develop them…"

Thousands of eyes focus on you. You're devastated by the realization that you could have moved the universe. Instead, you wasted your potential on computer games, aimless surfing on the web, and soap operas. You misused your valuable energy. Rather than assuming your role as the king's prodigy, you acted like a simpleton. You're so embarrassed that you feel like a blowtorch is searing your face.

"That's the fire of purgatory," I answered.

~From Chapter 8 of The Trail to Tranquility, by Lazer Brody

The Trail to Tranquility

My sincere thanks to YMG from London for the following letter, which includes his reaction to The Trail to Tranquility:

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I have just finished reading The Trail To Tranquility and am almost speechless. However, I will try to express a fraction of my gratitude to you for writing this masterpiece, for which I pray that everybody who is worthy, merits to discover this treasure that is so much more than a book.

If there are any of your LazerBeams readers out there who have recently joined the trail or even followed it from the start but not yet started the Trail to Tranquility then I have but one question, "What are you waiting for?"

I cannot really sum up a book that is as the title says a Trail, not just a book but a long path that needs time for thought and introspection. Nor is it the type of book that an honest, generous individual can finish and put back on the shelf without passing on to his friends and loved ones.

Perhaps I can give one analogy to your readers, without detracting from the wealth of lessons and advice it contains for any seeker of truth and serenity.

Life can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster. Things often move at a bearable, if not nippy, pace. Suddenly out of nowhere an argument at home or at work breaks out and before you can remember how it started, you find you've just turned about 90 degrees downwards and picked up 5 times the speed. Now most of us are not in tune with our real selves and our almost infinite spiritual resources to be able to handle such a ride and after times like these we can feel pained and upset that we've hit the loop without any warning. Perhaps also without fastening the seat belt.

This book not only helps us to defuse and uproot any covert or overt tendencies towards anger but gives us a new perspective on the magnificent creation we have been put in. Not only this, but by teaching us how to break down any prejudices we have grown up with and to speak to G-d like a friend, as well as how to listen out for His messages to us, you have enabled us Rabbi Brody, to feel like we've been given a direct, non-stop speaker connection to the guy in the box at the bottom, running the coaster.

In other words, yes there will always be both the smoother bits and the bumpier, windier loops but now I have renewed confidence that I will be at least belted, but more importantly able to handle the hard turns with better preparation and less impulse (see Ch.10). Maybe in the z'chus of all the hard work of those who go up this Trail, Avinu Shebashamayim may even the slow down the ride or miraculously straighten out the loop, that we may have inadvertently created for ourselves in the first place.

I look forward, if I am granted the strength G-d willing, to continuing this incredible Trail in 5766 with thousands of others, as we await to greet Moshiach, bimhera b'yamenu.

A wonderful New Year!
Warmest regards, YMG, London

Important update: The head offices of Llumina Publishers in Tamarac, Florida were badly damaged by Hurricane Wilma, suffering flooding, power failure, and of course losing computer power. Llumina's Publisher and General Director Deborah Greenspan wrote me that G-d willing, they're returning to normal operation today. She apologizes for the delay in The Trail to Tranquility order processing, promising that Llumina will do its utmost to fill orders as fast as possible.

Soles and souls

A man went to a cobbler to have his shoes repaired. As the cobbler began to work, they started a lively conversation, discussing the state of the world in general and their own lives in particular.

When they eventually touched on the subject of spirituality, the cobbler said: "I don't believe in all that nonsense about spirituality, a soul, or an omniscient creator."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, go out in the street and see for yourself; no rosy world of spirituality could possibly exist. Tell me, if humans have a soul that comes from a perfect creator, and the creator purportedly is good and kind, then why do people kill each other? Why's there so much crime? Why's there so much anger in the world? If a divine creator really existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? No! There would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine how a divine creator would permit all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond. Arguing the point wouldn't be conducive to a good repair job.

The cobbler finished resoling the customer's shoes. The customer paid and then left the shop. Just in front of him on the sidewalk was a down-and-outer with long dirty hair, an unkempt beard, patched and ragged clothes, and torn shoes.

The customer made an immediate about-face and reentered the cobbler shop: "You know what," he exclaimed, "cobblers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the astonished cobbler. "I am here, and I am a cobbler. And I just repaired your soles!"

"No!" the customer declared adamantly. "Cobblers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with torn shoes like that man right outside your door."

"Wrong! Cobblers do exist! People have torn soles because they don't come to me!"

"That's exactly the point," affirmed the customer. The Creator too, does exist! Humans do have a divine soul that's a perfect tiny part of The Creator himself. All the anger, crime, violence, sickness and trouble in the world come from torn souls. Their souls get torn when they don't come to Him, either."

* * *

*************

If you believe that it's possible to mend a sole, then believe that it's possible to mend a soul!

The above is an excerpt from the introductory chapter of The Trail to Tranquility, by Lazer Brody

The Trail to Tranquility

Click here to see the press release that Llumina Press sent today to the media regarding The Trail to Tranquility.

Click here to read a sample excerpt from The Trail to Tranquility.

Don't you deserve a life of genuine inner peace? G-d willing, The Trail to Tranquility will help you attain it.