46 posts categorized "Thought for the Day"

Harvey Weinstein = Hollywood's Worst (Nightmare)

There's a reason this post doesn't have a picture.

It's because I didn't want to insult the animals by calling HW an animal, and I couldn't post a picture of something vulgar and disgusting. And I certainly didn't want his hideous face on the Beams, so we'll have to make do without a picture.

So let's talk about this scandal that's rocking the glamorous world of Hollywood. 

This evil creature has been accused of molesting and raping women for years. The recent accusations against him certainly aren't shocking to those "in the know." Like Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby, this lowlife has been using his money and power to manipulate, degrade, and destroy who knows how many women. 

Now, as this scandal explodes into proportions beyond what we previously thought, I'd like to share my thoughts on Hollywood in general. 

First I'd like to say that NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO BLAME ANY WOMAN FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO HER. Even though she may have put herself in a position of allowing herself to be taken advantage of, that absolutely DOES NOT give any man the right to violate her. 

Which leads me to my point.

This scandal is clearly showing us what kind of world Hollywood is, and what kind of people live in it.  

As much as we enjoy their movies, let's try just for a moment to think about the spiritual level of people that are making these movies. Sure, there are likely lots of great people trying to live upright lives, blah, blah, blah. I'm not talking about them.

I'm talking about the Hollywood players that party too hard, drink too much, abuse drugs, cheat, and switch partners the second they go out of style, which could be every night for some. Of course I have to include the ones that are closet molesters and pedophiles, crooks, scam artists, and people who are so desperate for a part in a movie, that they'll do anything to get it. 

As much as we don't like to think about it because we're blinded by the glamour, the action, and the suspenseful story lines, Hollywood is little more than a spiritual sewer. The grossest cockroaches are scurrying around, dressed up in Prada and Gucci, trying to get ahead in the cockroach world that promotes leaving your morals at the door next to the bouncer, whose job it is to check you out from head to toe to see if your plastic cockroach body is worthy of getting into the hottest night club, where people go to see and be seen, and more importantly to advance their "careers."

Now that we can objectively see who these people are, my next point is actually a question:

Why in the world do we obsess over them?? 

Because they're beautiful? Because they may know how to act? Because they're rich and live the lives we dream about?


We're all aware of the fact that their lives are completely messed up. If they're not messed up, then their marriages are messed up, or their kids are doing drugs and partying  and making complete fools of themselves as they attempt to dry up Daddy's bank account. 

What's to idolize? What's to look up to? 

I believe that Hashem let this wicked creature's actions go public to shake us out of our obsession with Hollywood. Hopefully it will work. Because personally, I would dread being asked by the Heavenly Court to explain why I wasted my precious time and brain space fantasizing about these people and their fame and fortune. Yikes. 

It's Jews like HW that give us a bad name. And I'm certainly including ALL of the rapists, molesters, pedophiles, mafia, and bad Jews in this. Because G-d knows there are way too many of them.

So I have this to say to all the bad people out there: One day your time will come, and Hashem will expose you in all of your disgusting glory. And when He does, know that your humiliation is only the beginning of your punishment. He's saving the best part for the Next World, where you will receive your punishment in full.

Oh, how I wish there were a movie about that.


p.s.- Don't miss my post below! I promise it's much funnier than this one! ;) 

Unnatural Disasters


See that gray and black circle at the center of Hurricane Harvey? Do you think you know what it is?

It's more than just the heaviest rainfall.

If you recall, Harvey made landfall as a Category 4 hurricane, and was quickly downgraded to Category 2 in about 5 hours. Usually, hurricanes continue on their path inland, and they gradually lose strength and turn into tropical storms, then regular rain. 

But what happened here? 

Harvey began to stall. And then it started gaining strength.

This goes completely against nature. 

The shocking video below shows many black/red bursts happening throughout different parts of the storm, the worst bursts occurring directly over Houston. Start watching it at 5 minutes for a complete explanation of what really happened. I promise your jaw will DROP!

In summary, this video shows rapid bursts of evaporated water escaping into the atmosphere. Water evaporation comes from power plants and other industrial plants. The amount of evaporation can be adjusted. These huge bursts of evaporation added fuel to the storm, causing it to strengthen and stay put. 

Weather modification has existed since the 1940's. Natural weather patterns died long ago, back when the industiralization of our planet started destroying it. Today, most of planet Earth doesn't experience completely natural weather patterns. Yes, global warming is occurring. But it has more to do with the massive amounts of hot condensation being released into the atmosphere than the much smaller amounts of carbon dioxide.

Our planet is so damaged, we have to engineer our own weather, or we won't survive. 

Your next logical question is probably: why would people cause a storm to strengthen, knowing the devastating effects it would bring on thousands of people? I cannot answer that in this post.

But what I can tell you is this: no matter who is creating these violent, destructive storms, ultimately Hashem is in control. 

If it's evil people that want to further their agenda of world domination and population control, we can consider them as working for the Other Side. And the Other Side still works for Hashem. The Angel of Death himself works for Hashem, does he not?

If it's random freak weather, we can also consider this to be an act of Hashem.

Hashem can do with the weather as He pleases, with or without an emissary.

Any of these reasons come with the same message: we must recognize that He is actively involved in the world, and in our lives, down to the tiniest detail. We need to really internalize that.

What do you think of this video? Send in a comment!


Racheli's Million-Dollar Chocolate Cake


It's one in da a.m., and I'm sitting here, wearing my new aviator sunglasses and stuffing my face with my latest concoction - million-dollar cake. I can barely see what I'm writing, or what I'm eating for that matter, but I love these sunglasses too much to take them off. Also, I don't really need eyes to taste this fabulously rich cake. 

You're probably wondering why I'm posting food posts on a fast day. What can I say. I'm slightly crazy. Also, I'm becoming a little obsessed with finding something sweet that's semi-healthy, but more importantly, low-carb. Yes. Even I have a yetzer. Hard to believe, isn't it. 

But the real reason I'm sitting here right now is totally David's fault. He decided that he's going to have a little snack before the fast, and for some deep and mysterious reason, I have to know what he's eating in order to see if I want some. He's sitting next to me, chowing on his cereal like a horse, but the crunching noise sounds so appetizing, it's driving me crazy!!

So let's talk about this cake really quick. It's probably the last thing you needed to see today, but I just couldn't help myself. First, I'll explain the name of this cake. I called it Million-Dollar Cake because it sounds so much nicer than what it really is, a Million-Calorie Cake. I actually have no idea how many calories are in here, but I'm sure there's at least more than 100 calories per crumb slice. Seriously, how many of you would read this post if I called it Million-Calorie Cake? Two, maybe?

I'm starting to hallucinate because I'm so tired, so I'll get to the recipe without further ado. Is it raining outside? What is that dripping noise?? 

Again, I'll warn you - I don't do measurements. It's, like, so low-class and practical. I don't do practical. Low-class, yes. Anyway, you've got to play it by eye and taste it. A lot. So here goes. 

For the cake: ground walnuts, ground almonds, sugar-free chocolate bars, coconut or grapeseed oil, 5 eggs, baking powder, and a small drop of xanthan gum. If you need it a little sweeter, you can add a sugar substitute from maltitol or erythritol, but beware! Your intestines will pay the price if you eat too much of it!

In a bowl, mix the ground nuts, eggs, baking powder, and xanthan gum. Melt the chocolate with a little oil - about 1/4 cup. I think. Let the chocolate cool slightly, then mix it in with the mixture. Bake on 350 for around 15? minutes. I really have no idea how long I baked it for. I use the knife test. If the knife comes out clean from the middle of the cake, it's done. Just don't wait until you smell burning coming from the oven before you do the knife test. 

For the frosting: take a can of coconut cream and put it in the fridge. Let the cream separate from the liquid. Scoop out only the cream and mix it with a fork. If you're lazy, use a hand mixer. Mine is broken because my little Natan decided to jam the beaters into the mixer until some of the plastic fell off. I'm too lazy to get another one. Actually, the truth is that I keep forgetting that I need another one. 

Next, melt some more chocolate, let it cool slightly, then mix it into the coconut cream. Put it in the fridge and it will firm up.

If you're feeling fancy, you can sprinkle some ground nuts on the top of the frosting. You can even just do coconut cream by itself without adding chocolate if you don't want it too chocolaty. 

This is a great dessert for people like me, who have become terrified of putting a starchy carb in their mouth. One day, yetzer. Oneeee dayyyyy....

In the meantime, I'll do my best to keep looking cool and tough by wearing my aviators in the middle of the night. Indoors. When no one's watching. I think I'm having an identity crisis. Maybe I'm really Corey Hart? He also wore his sunglasses at night. And nowadays, I can say I self-identify as a guy and no one can tell me I'm crazy. But can I self-identify as a guy who was popular 30 years ago, and I'm 39? That means now I would be at least 69 years old! Can I say that I'm actually a 69-year-old man? What in the world am I saying??

On that note, good night! And have an easy fast!

Living Within Your Means

Dry Bread
The message that King Solomon, wisest of all men who ever walked the face of the earth, is conveying is to live within your means, don't owe money to anyone and you'll sleep like a baby at night, even if the only thing you have for dinner is a glass of water and a dry piece of bread. On the other hand, those who live lavishly and throw the "Goodbye Columbus" and "Keeping up with the Goldbergs" weddings, drive fancy cars and live in fancy houses - yet they owe thousands (tens of, hundreds of, or more...) of dollars to everyone in town - don't have an ounce of inner peace. In the middle of their rib-steak dinners, creditors are phoning and texting nonstop. That's what King Solomon calls the "steaks of strife". Who needs that?

Hashem gives us everything we need to live within our means. When a person can't make ends meet, he or she should assess themselves as to whether they're spending money needlessly, buying things they don't need or just trying to keep up with the Jones's (or the Goldbergs). My esteemed and beloved teacher and spiritual guide Rav Shalom Arush says that thinking that Hashem will cover debts accumulated from living above one's means if false trust. The true manifestation of emuna is when we're pleased with our lot in life; that means living within our means.

Free Chicks


Like, I totally know what you're thinking. You're wondering what in the world kind of necklace I'm wearing. Well, I'm wondering the same thing. It's the midlife crisis, I tell you! I'm turning into a Charedi Gangsta. I'm gonna change my name to R-Kelly. Except kids really used to call me that in Junior High. Or was it High School? I can't remember. It's all a blur. But so is yesterday.

Isn't R-Kelly no longer with us? Don't you love how I said that so PC? I'm working on my tact and sensitivity. Don't want to offend anyone, you know. No one likes offensive chain-wearing, nagging old gangstas in a midlife crisis.

Speaking of crises, say hello to my little friend. He doesn't have a name yet, because I'm totally getting rid of him tomorrow, but in the meantime, I'll call him Lil' Chick. I would prefer to call him Lil' Black Chick, but some people might get offended. I don't know why, because he is black, and he's a chick. I just realized how funny that sounds. He's a chick. Must be a Liberal. If I called myself Big White Chick, would anyone get offended? Probably not anyone besides myself. 

So here's how LBC came into my life. Earlier today, my son called me from school asking me if he could bring home a chick that his Rabbi just gave him. I was like, "You ain't bringin' no chicks into my house, young man." He insisted and didn't back down, because he knows his mama's got a loud and nasty bark, but her bite resembles something like her grandma's dentures sitting in a cup of water overnight. 


I mean, what am I supposed to do with it? I don't live on a farm! A jungle, yes, but not a farm. Where is the chick supposed to walk? Where am I supposed to put him when I'm not home? Should I take him to Zumba with me? Do you think the music will be too loud? What am I supposed to DOOOOOO????

But, wait! I didn't even tell you the worst part. This chick is so smart, he figured out in about two seconds what a friar (sucker) I am. My son made a makeshift cage for him, and he didn't like it, so he started chirping so loud, I could swear he was screaming at me. So I took him out and held him close to me, and in no time he calmed down. So I put him back and whaddayaknow. Crying/screaming again. So I picked him back up.

Yeah, the chick won. I gave up. I ended up doing almost everything one-handed. See that picture up there? That's how I held LBC as I served the kids dinner, yelled at them to change their clothes, brush their teeth, and get in bed. I even broke up a few fights with one hand. When I absolutely had to use two hands, like to deal with the laundry, I put chicky in my lap close to my belly and actually leaned over him a bit, so my stomach would kind of smush him. He loved it so much, he fell asleep! And I got serious lower back pains from that.

I finally got him to go to sleep for the night by wrapping him cozily in a kitchen towel. Oh, I forgot to mention that I washed him the minute they brought him home. 

Do any of you in Israel want him? Any of you have a big backyard and lots of breadcrumbs? 

What's the point of all of this? Well, I have no idea! But here are two things I realized from this bizarre experience:

1) when Hashem wants you to have something, you'll get it, no matter how much you do or don't do to get it*

2) these days, things happen so suddenly, it's a little scary

3) I shouldn't write posts after 10:00 at night

*This doesn't mean that you shouldn't put forth your maximum effort if you want something! No loophole here for you lazy people out there!

So that's that. I hope I can get a decent night's sleep without worrying too much about whether I'll hear Lil' Chicky crying for me to hold him in the middle of the night. Because I just might do that. I would actually bring him to bed with me and cuddle him. I'm crazy like that.


Oh, and very important! Today is the yarzheit of two great Gedolim, The Lubavitcher Rebbe and Rav Yehoshua Neuwirth. Scroll down to read Rav Brody's post about them, and don't forget to light a candle!

Happy Father's Day!


Ooh, boy, David's gonna be so mad when he sees this. Here is a picture of him enjoying a nice carb-infested beverage at my birthday dinner at the local falafel stand. I think he ordered it just to make me jealous. Well, I showed him. I drank half of it, and then made him take me shoe shopping. 

So I just found out an hour ago that it's Father's Day in the States. I was surprised, because I didn't even realize it was June already, and I totally forgot about the fact that Father's Day exists. So of course I called my mother to wish her a happy father's day.

Why would I call my mother, you ask? Fools! Who made my dad a father? My mom! Duh.

You know, I think I have a pretty decent argument there. Don't women have to suffer through 9 or 10 months of pregnancy, depending on who you're asking? How many months do fathers contribute to the growing baby inside Mommy's tummy? What? None? How dare you say that! Fathers have to put up with nine (or ten) months of complaining, moaning, all-day morning sickness, massage my feet, my back really hurts, midnight cravings for pancakes and ketchup, tossing and turning at night, paying for a new wardrobe every month, etc.

Incidentally, I remember my first pregnancy. I ran to the Motherhood store in the mall after I had stuffed my face so my stomach would look really bloated, so I could buy myself a pair of ugly maternity pants with the super elastic waistband. OMG, speaking of pants, you should read my Sheitel in Blue Jeans. I guarantee you'll crack up at this insanely ridiculous story! 

Double OMG. I just remembered what Rav Brody posted about sheitels, and here I am posting a sheitel article!  

What was the point of this post already? Oh, yeah. To all you awesome dads who do your best to be good fathers to your children, Mazal Tov! Enjoy your day. And to all you awesome moms who feel the need to buy your husbands something because you made them a father, STOP! Didn't you do enough work already? (You know I'm just kidding, right?) 

Enjoy your day!


My Bling Bling

I hope David doesn't read this post. A few days ago, I took the train to Malcha Mall in Jerusalem and couldn't help but buy this gorgeous light blue sapphire ring. What do you think?


Don't worry, I've got it all figured out. When hubby gets the bill, I'm going to act dumb, as if I have no idea where that mysterious 4,000 shekel charge came from. And then, when we get into a huge fight about it, I'm going to pull out the, "What, I'm not worth it?!!" card.

Seriously, don't tell him what I wrote. That goes for you especially, Judah Cohen. I know where you live.

Although my photography skills are still quite lacking due to shaky hands and a cheap phone camera, I think this picture is pretty nice. Do any of you remember that old Jlo song, "Jenny from the Block"? I came up with my own version.

Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got... I just totally lied to you and this ring costs only $11.  

Now that's a Grammy-winning song right there. 

For some reason, I'm not ashamed to admit that I love fake jewelry, especially because it's cheap! In my mind, why should I spend a ton of money just to have something that I can say is real, if I can get something fake that's just as beautiful and 1/100th the cost? 

Men, you're probably like, "So what do I care about your ugly ring?" Well, I'll tell you what. My ring actually carries very deep and esoteric messages, like: "money ain't buy you no happiness," and "mo' money, mo' problems," and "you can still buy nice jewelry for your wife that doesn't have to cost your life's savings." 

Most of the things that we chase in life look like they'll give us real happiness. Money, fancy homes, fancy cars, fancy jewelry - it's all nice, but it's a glittering mirage. It's funny, in a way. The tangible things that we want seem real, but they're not. And the intangible things that we place less importance on are what's real.

Love, joy, peace of mind, fulfilling relationships, a strong and personal  connection with The Creator - these things are what's really important in life. Botttom line? It's great to want nice things in life, just don't make it your life's mission to have nice things. Get outta my way, Confucius. 

And if you still think this ring is real, go and get yourself a free eye exam at Walmart, pronto.

Have a wonderful day!